A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been together long distance for a little over a year. When we started out, the "honeymoon" phase was great. He texted and called all the time, he was sweet, etc. It's pretty safe to say that the honeymoon period's long gone. He still texts me just about everyday, but it's down to once or twice a day. Sometimes we'll be texting and he'll just disappear. He never calls me anymore. The sweetest he'll get is to say I love you before bed. When we're together, it's amazing and there's nobody else that I'd rather be with. The long distance thing is just really frustrating me and I worry that he's lost all interest in me or started talking to someone else, who knows. I guess a little reassurance from him every now and then would be nice, but I can't even seem to get that. When we're together, I'll ask him why he doesn't skype with me or go online anymore and he promises that he'll do it but then he never does. He used to say I love you every night and now there's nights (sometimes a few in a row) where he won't even say it at all. There are times where if I don't text him first, he won't text me at all until the next or third day. I worry that if I complain too much, he'll just back off because he's already got enough stress on his plate and I'm supposed to be a good thing in his life. We've had past arguments about my insecurities before and I just don't want to go there because I hate arguing with him. It's bad enough that he's two hours away from me, but to feel a distance emotionally just sucks :(Sorry for ranting, I doubt I even make sense. I'm just confused and don't know what to do. I don't want to leave because he really does make me happy, but I don't know how to deal in times like this when he's not around much physically or emotionally. It's usually a whole lot easier to deal with when I'm at school living on my own because I always had some sort of idea of when I'd get to see him next but right now, I'm back home with my extremely strict parents for the summer and I have no clue when I'll get to see him again.
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Hi there, I am in an LDR also. You're lucky you only live two hours away. My partner is on the other side of the world. You guys should try and see each other more often.
Do you feel that you're always the one initiating stuff? Or do you sit around and wait for him to text you? Maybe if you're always waiting on him, you could try texting him first, or initiate conversation/calls. If you find that you're the one always doing it, try holding back a little more, and see how he responds to that.
My partner and I go through phases.. for instance we skyped 4 days in a row over the weekend, but now I haven't spoken to him in three days.
If you and your bf can plan your next trip, that might give you something to look forward to and it might keep the flame going. Other than that, I'm not really sure what else to say. LDR's just aren't for everyone. Some can handle them well, some can't.
I recommend visiting the website lovingfromadistance.com. It's an online community of people in LDR's from all over the world. You can register and post on the forum there, and speak to all sorts of people who have been through the same situation as you.
Hope that helps, and I wish you all the best. x
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