A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am feeling really angry towards my mum at the moment and I don't know what to do about it. Mum and Dad have just returned from holiday, but I feel really evil because I kept thinking how peaceful it was when they were away. The see the thing is she nags me constantly whenever I am in the house about everything, and I really don't think I can take much more of it. I really think I am going to scream at her before long. Everything was really chilled out and peaceful while they were on holiday. Now she is back, it is awful. She has this thing about being tidy but to, in my view, a ridiculous degree. To her, everything that belongs to me must belong in my room (which I hasten to add is the size of a shoebox). She has moved my coat from the porch where everyone elses coats are and hung it on the back of my bedroom door. Since she came home today, while I was out some of my belongings were removed from the sitting room and taken into my room and placed on my chair. Some other stuff I had downstairs has been left on my chair in the kitchen for me to take up to my room. It is that bad it feels like she is trying to erase every bit of my existence from the house. What is wrong with her and why is she doing this? My sister, on the other hand, leaves stuff lying about all over the place and it doesn't get mentioned. I have been quite unwell and as a result have been unable to drive so I have been reliant on Mum to drive me around at times and she resents me for that as well. I try to help around the house abit where I can but my Mum doesn't seem to appreciate truly how exhausted I feel since I have been out at work for 12 hours a day, and then as soon as I am walking in the door she is going on about something, that to my mind, is petty. I would move out but I can't afford anywhere. Any ideas what this is really all about?
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male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (28 October 2007):
There could be any number of reasons for her behavior.
You may have to sit down with her in a relaxed situation and talk to her and ask her why she is being that way.
I know of one mother/daughter relationship where neither see eye to eye and it seems that any time the daughter tries to sit down and talk with her mother, one begins to raise her voice then the other begins to raise her voice until once again they are in a full blown argument.
What the daughter ended up having to do was to take her out to a diner for breakfast or coffee or tea and talk to her there. Since there are others around, she almost certainly desires to keep her voice down and her mother does as well. In this way they have been able to talk a multitude of things out. Hope this helps. Doc
A
female
reader, Fiery +, writes (28 October 2007):
I personally think your mom wants you to move out but she maybe doesn't know how to come out and say it without it looking like she is kicking you out the house. Maybe you can look up want ads for roommates in the paper or find someone renting out a room. Either way, I think your mom's attitude will improve once you move out of the house.
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