A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a situation where I am not sure how to approach a woman. In the past I haven't sought advice for this because all of my previous relationships started under more natural circumstances, such as being introduced by a friend or meeting at a party or bar. Recently, however, a new neighbor has moved in a couple weeks ago and has me intrigued. We bumped into each other once while I was walking my dog and introduced ourselves. We talked for only five minutes, but since then I haven't been able to find a way to talk to her again. I feel it would be awkward to simply knock on her door and try to start a conversation, especially since I already introduced myself and welcomed her to the neighborhood when we met on the street. I am more comfortable with women initially in social situations but unfortunately I live in a very small community where there are very few social opportunities. I have usually asked out women in the past after talking to them a couple of times while at a party or through mutual friends, but never approached one privately. I don't want to appear too desperate or scare her away, especially since it would make for an awkward situation since she lives next door. Does anyone have any advice on how I can try to talk to her and eventually, hopefully ask her out on a date? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (20 August 2012):
 I don't see anything wrong with knocking on her door and offering her a plate of cookies or a nice bottle of wine as a "housewarming" present. That'll give you an opportunity to get on more friendly terms with her, especially if she invites you inside to talk. If she doesn't, you can consider asking her out for a drink, coffee or lunch, so that you two can get to know each other. There's nothing wrong with just plain asking someone for a casual together! ^_^
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (20 August 2012):
 Hopefully you'll run into your neighbor again sooner or later - do you live in a house or apartment, by the way? If the latter you may see her in your building.
Perhaps if she's quite new then maybe some of your other neighbors wouldn't know her either.......
When you do see her again, you could just casually ask if she'd like to have coffee with you at your local Starbucks, or whatever. See what she says. Better to make it relatively short and keep it light for a first meeting, not more than about an hour - and see how it goes. A time to begin to get acquainted and get some sense as to whether there might be an interest in getting together a second time. If so, my recommendation is to take things slowly. Wait on inviting her into your home and you to hers until you've had a chance to get to know one another a bit better.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, RaahRaahTheNoisyLion  +, writes (20 August 2012):
Bake something, a cake or shortbread,even if your not a good baker.
Then knock on her door when you know she will be in, and tell her you've made too many, would she like some. Even if she doesn't, you have tackled the getting talking part.
Ask if she would like to come over for coffee sometime, be casual.
If she takes you up on your offer, be natural as if she's one of your longest friends.
Leave very subtle hints, and get baking!
Best of luck,
RaahRaahTheNoisyLion x
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