A
male
age
51-59,
*hymexycpl
writes:I am a 45yr old male and think my my wife is not into sex. When we have sex its like a scheduled event and if I can not preform right, she says its ok maby next time.I am very sexual and like alot of stimulation in all my private parts but she will not indulge in those pleasures she says Im too freaky and need to calm down. Am I too weird to like anal stimulation done to me or am I just turning gay and wont accept it. I like girls but like to see men jerking off occasionally just to see them unload and especially watch a tranny do it. is this weird or am I just over reacting. I wish my wife would do these things to me but I affraid to freak her out. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, cg4eu +, writes (17 March 2012):
You sound Bi to me, you don't just turn gay, but maybe sexual aspect that you don't think are important become more important when you are older (I don't know, you have more life experience in that than me)... but I can tell you with confidence that sexuality is a spectrum. Many people have priorities of emotional attraction and physical attraction, and you show signs of being physically attracted to men but more emotionally attracted to women. A lot of times people want to label them selves as gay, straight or gay*, straight* (if you know what I mean), sex is more complicated than that. (and why wouldn't it be? It's chemical isn't it?)
It doesn't make you a freak, it just means you know your sexual desires better than others. Your wife also might know her own sexual desires as well, the only solution I can see is being open about it with her to see if anything meets half way? (Maybe there is something private she likes but is embarrassed you'd think she is "freaky")
I dunno, you just sound Bi but lean more heterosexual. This does not solve your problem though, you got to work that out with your wife, keeping these lusts in the closet isn't going to help anyone though.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Se should be about the both of you, not just you or just her.
Have a decent chat with her. Find ways to spice it up. I have to say if the sex have always been quite vanilla and clockwork like it's not surprisingly that she isn't too keen on sticking a finger in your bum.
You got to work new things in slowly.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Many straight men like anal stimulation it does not make them freaky or gay. The prostate is rich in nerve endings and is best stimulated through the anus….
I’m sorry if your wife can’t deal with these facts… have you talked to her about it when you are NOT in the bedroom? Maybe a nice private dinner where you can discuss it in depth?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 March 2012):
 AS long as nobody incurs bodily injury, there's really no such thing as "too kinky." What you HAVE described is a relationship (marriage) wherein the partners have different sexual energies and preferences.... You're probably in a LARGE group of people (I'd guess more men, than women) who would like to be more sexually active and divergent than their partner....
Best thing to do is to have LOTS of conversation wherein you and she reveal your desires/preferences/likes-dislikes and see where there is commonality to be pursued....
IF, ultimately, you and she cannot find that common ground, then you (both) need to decide if you shouldn't split so that you may pursue the lives (including the sex/intimacy) that you desire...
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 man you are so wrong on so many levels. you have to work on common ground between you and your wife in a nonsexual way and then bring sex into the formulae slowly when you think you're getting somewhere. sometimes you've got to go with the flow as she is entitled to have things the way she wants it just as much as you are. men think of sex as an urgent matter to be dealt with but women view it quite differently. learn how women think about sex and you will be ahead.
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