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I would like it to be more than an online friendship.....

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 April 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi, i've been speaking to this guy online for alomst 2 years, and earlier this year he told me he liked me, i like him too but i said it would be too complicated because of the distance and our personal circumstances.

I'm 20 years old and he is 24, and i might be going to uni too and since then it's changed the way we speak to each other. He is the nicest person i have ever met and he makes me happy, but i said we should just be friends, but i feel like i've made a mistake in saying this and don't know how to approach the question again.

I do like him more then a friend but i'm just scared of getting hurt. I dont know what to do 'cos he means the world to me and we have even talked about meeting just as friends though, but i dont know what to do 'cos i have feelings for him, i know he does too - but i'm just scared to tell him how i really feel.

Any advice? Thanx, I know it's bit confusing but i don't know what to do, please help.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey just an update last month (october) i was invited on holiday with him and his family and i had such an amazing time he asked me out the week b4 and i followed my heart and said yes never been so happy he's coming dwn to see me for new year i cant wait so everything is going well thnx for the advice guys it really helped x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey thanks for all the advice just a quick update last week we met and had such an amazing time we went to london for the weekend nd met each others families and it all went well and are still spking. hoping to meet again sumtime think we are just gunna see wat happens and if it works out we will go for it. thanks for the help guys x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

think you are being relunctant for a reason. You stated, " I dont know what to do 'cos he means the world to me and we have even talked about meeting just as friends though, but i dont know what to do 'cos i have feelings for him," You haven't met, in the real world?

Are you are falling for someone, simply by texting this person, whom you have not met yet? Have you guys seen each other, through pics, webcam, spoken to each other on the phone? I imagine after 2 years of online chatting, you feel like you know him, very well. But I suggest you meet him first, face to face and interact. You really don't have a solid basis here, to make him your official bf, yet. The words online "texting/chatting" has always meant to me, a insincere, superficial manner of relating to another human being. So I see it as that you both are believing all that is being said about your real lives and a friendship is in place but that is all this is. You are not seeing his body language, his voice fluctuations, his facial expressions, you are not going into his world, meeting his friends/family....these are all things you see and pick up on in the real-life world. If you haven't met this other guy in a face to face encounter, then you are merely are falling in love with a fantasy...that's it.

So try to understand what 'really' is happening here, hun. Online romances are quite different from real life romances, in that they do not involve a physical component, so the emotional attachment builds and sometimes, people become emotionally attached, as friends. And that is okay. But to fall for someone and date a person, you haven't met?

Let me explain, online romances happen because the anonymity of online, feeds the illusion, the intoxication, because the person on the other end of this online romance is 'not' really known, is he. He can be as witty, funny, handsome, intelligent as only the man of your dreams can be. Sadly, the fantasy is fueled by the lack of 'real-world' information. We wnat get sucked into believing, that NO guy in cyberland has faults or a terribly bad temper or a disagreeable personality. In fact, he's likely warm, sensitive, caring, and communicative and is filling an emotional gap in you. Is it all too good to be true? We don't know--until you meet him and spend a lot of time getting to know him.

Before you give up all your heartfelt feelings to this guy...tell him you both absolutely need to meet, in the real world. After two years, I would say it is time. Don't you agree?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (21 April 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntJust let mother nature takes its course.

Don't worry to much, whatever will happen will happen someday.

Just enjoy and be happy with him.

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A female reader, daniellexxxx United Kingdom +, writes (21 April 2008):

daniellexxxx agony auntIf your both sure you like one another then go for it tell him how you feel and see what he says. Lond distance relation ships can be hard but if you try hard to see echother when ever your both free and trust eachother them am sure it can work.

Good luck.

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