A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a few things bugging me so here goes. Firstly how do I get my partner to talk to me? I have been with my partner for about 7 months now and I find it hard to talk to him. Recently I tried to talk to him about how I feel and he just became defensive and wouldn't talk which just upsets me and then he says I am silly. I'm tired of having to bottle my feelings up, but don't really know what to do. I love him to bits and would do anything for him. Secondly I do lots of nice things for him like massages etc yet when I ask for anything in return all I get is I cook you nice meals. Is he just being selfish or am I over reacting? Thirdly do all men have this I can do this, but if you try to do it to me i'm going to sulk and get money ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the advise. I sat and had a heart to heart with my fella and now when something bugs me i bring it up in a light hearted manner which really works :-). Plus he does nice things for me now so bonus :-)
A
female
reader, mrs. m  +, writes (27 September 2009):
Run....quickly, in the opposite direction this guy is going. Guys like him rarely change. If you plan on staying with him, get used to it. You cant change him, and you cant make him change. If he doesnt think he has a problem and doesnt want to deal with it then there is nothing you can do. Seriously, I know you love him, but find someone who has more of the qualities you want in a mate. This guy isnt ever going to be it. Ive been miserably married to a man very similar to that for 12yrs. RUN!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers I will try that :-). Doh end of the question was supposed to say sulky and moody lol. Only just noticed it says money heh.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): You are not over reacting at all. Its natural for people to get upset when they put so much of themselves into someone and dont get the same in return. He needs to appreciate all that you do for him and reciprocate the love and care you show him. Try to talk to him again, but just bring up one thing at a time. Dont present it in a way where he feels like he is a problem and you are upset with him, try to just be nice and playful. If you are giving him a massage stop right in the middle and be like "My turn!" You need to try to not let him get to you and just try to have him open up and give you all that you give him. He might not appreciate it until he loses it, and if he keeps it up and you feel like you are the only one putting in any effort you should think about moving on to someone who deserves to have you. But try your best to make it work for now and just try to get him to loosen up and talk to you. Show him you are always there for him and want to communicate with him. I wish you the best.
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