A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi DearCupidI'm having problems at the moment. I always seem to be lonely and on my own. I have always been shy and nervous of people. As such I have issues communicating with people and never know how to talk properly to people. I have never had any social life or girlfriend. I spent most nights at home wanting things to change. At 18 I went to Uni to try to change my life and to be more outgoing and to meet new people but nothing happened and I spent most of my nights alone. Then after 3 years I come back home and the cycle again being home and wanting things to change. I want to go Uni again to try to change but I know nothing will happen. I would like a girlfriend but I find it so hard to go out meeting people that I seem destined to stay alone forever. How can I change? WHAT can i do to change. please help.
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female
reader, malvern +, writes (12 September 2008):
 I'm not sure which country you live in but if they have walking or rambling groups for young people try one of those. All you have to do is walk! Somebody will start talking to you, and the good thing is that you're walking along so you don't have to be face to face with them. As the countryside rolls by there will be things happening along the way that you can talk about. The other thing is, why not join something like a Salsa or French Jive Class. You may cringe but there's a big shortage of men in the dancing world!You will be much appreciated by the women, and just remember that everybodys had to start dancing from the beginning so nobody will be judging you!
A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hi there
Well I can relate to your situation. I went to Uni to do the same thing...and my experience started off like yours. However I learned that you just have to put yourself out there. How bad are your communication issues with people? Is it a case of just not knowing what to say? Or something more serious that you could get help for via counseling...?
Going Uni again will only be the same experience if you let it be that same experience. If you don't change, then your life isn't going to change!
You need friends first before you move onto getting a girlfriend -- and going Uni again will guarantee you friends...but you have to make the effort to make friends as well!!
Friends won't come to find you; you have to go and find them. Fortunately at Uni they are already there; but you will have to make the effort this time.
In the meantime, join evening classes or other clubs to make friends who share the same interest as you.
At aged 22-25 you certainly should not be stuck home alone!
Take care
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