A
female
age
41-50,
*adeyes
writes:Split with b/f of a year a month ago.He claims he doesnt love me anymore and would like to be friends.Anyway we met up last week for the first time and I got very upset,he was so affectionate towards me,stroking my hair,wiping away my tears and stroking my face.When it was tiem to leave each other,he was cuddling me and wouldn't let me go.Anyway on my way home,it was text after text telling me how sorry he was that he had hurt me and how he hates seeing me so upset etc all with kisses i might add.Then the next day he called jsut for a chat and said how good it was that we had got together and he is so glad we can be friends as I am his best friend in the whole world.Told him I dont know how I feel about things and if i am strong enough to be friends.On the night we met I would have sworn he was acting and looking at me like someone in love,not an ex boyfriend.Anyway that was a week ago and I havent heard from him,do you think he was just being nice and trying to let me down gently or can anyone give me any reasons why he would have acted like that and then nothing??
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female
reader, sadeyes +, writes (20 April 2008):
sadeyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks anonymous female,were you able to then be friends with this guy or were things just too painful? I want to be there for him as I think there is more going on than he is admitting (he has serious sexual probs) and I would hate to think I am deserting him if he needs me,but dont know if i'm strong enough to be around him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): i think it's entirely possible to love someone very much and still not want to be with them anymore. it happened to me with a guy i dated for two years. he is an amazing person - just an excellent human being who was always good to me and was so incredibly in love with me. and i loved him very much. he made me happy, and, for a time, i just lit up whenever he walked in the room. over time, however, i came to realize that as wonderful as he was, and as much as i loved him, there were ways that we were different that didn't bother him but would always bother me. and i mean, i loved this guy. i really, deeply cared about him. and it killed me to have to end things with him, but i've never really doubted that it was the right decision. we didn't see each other for a couple of months after we broke up, and the first time we did, it was agony for me. i didn't regret my decision, and i didn't in any way doubt that it'd been the right decision for me (and thus, ultimately, for him, too, since he deserved someone who could just enjoy him for who he was, and not feel like something was missing). but i felt terrible knowing i'd wounded such a good friend in that way. the guilt was unbelievable. i still loved him, but that wasn't enough.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 April 2008):
He may not love you any more but he still cares about you. He's going to give you hugs etc if you are crying, rather than a manly handshake.
If you are starting to get over him, please make sure you are not just hoping he's going to want you back.
Assume he was just being nice and work on getting over him. If anything does happen between you two, then it will be a nice surprise and you will be stronger and able to cope with the relationship better.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): people don;t get over their exes quickly so he could still be feeling something towards you. be friends with him though he sounds like he is a true friends. he comforted you when you were upset so keep him as a friend.
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