A
female
age
30-35,
*inosaurexx
writes:ive been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now and we have been talking about sex often lately. we have no problem talking about it and its not hard to tell him what bothers me and when im not ready and such.but every time he asks me if i would (he never tries to pressure me into it) for some reason, the fact that hes not a virgin (and i am) bothers me. i do love him and would still do it, but i was just wondering if this would cause any major problems, and also wondering why it bothers me so much.any answers are appreciated :) thank you Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xhailofbulletsx  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 One of the reasons it may bother you is that you feel inadequate perhaps? Maybe you are insecure of the fact that he has been with other girls.
Well, you shouldn't worry. If he likes you, he wont be comparing you to the other women he's slept with.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 October 2008):
 Ok - so if a couple of years go by and the two of you are still happening, then you will know what is allowable - providing it is good for you. You will know what is right. Best wishes to you. DoubleM
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A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (20 October 2008):
dinosaurexx is verified as being by the original poster of the question oh just to clarify a point i made in the original questiong (that i just noticed)
when i said i would do it, i wasnt meaning RIGHT NOW.
i know that im not ready yet, id just like to get some advice on my feelings on this :) thanks
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A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (20 October 2008):
dinosaurexx is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni guess you could say im a good girl, we havent really done much..
but his was only one girl.. and i have to say it could be because i am confused as to what would happen AFTER.
he says he would take back the first time because it was the worst mistake he has ever made, and hes afraid of what it would do to me if we ever did.
but he tells me that hes POSITIVE im the one for him (he bought me a promise ring) but then a few months ago, he told me he was sure at the time that the first girl was the one for him too....
thats what makes me worried about if hes being truthful..
thanks for your answers by the way :) they were VERY helpful!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 October 2008):
In my opinion, it may bother you because 1) you are a good girl with good common sense, 2) you are underage and, 3) you darn well know that serious consequences leading to major problems which could affect the rest of your life on earth and how you live it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): hey im 16-17 too so maybe ill be able to help you out... okay well i was in EXACTLY (seriously) the same situation as you a couple of months back. Meaning i was a virgin and he wasnt, but there was no pressure from him ...This didnt really bother me, and i didnt know either of the girls that he had done it with before me (there were 3)..... but it still felt weird knowing that hed shared so much of himself with three other girls before me..... i totally told him how i felt and he told me that no matter how much he would want to take back what hed done with other girls, to make me feel like i was the only one for him, and that i really was, he couldnt.... But your probably unsure about other things aswell, so maybe wait a bit until your totally confident that you want him to be your first ... hope i helped you out a bit xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Could it be that you don't trust your boyfriend as much as you think you should, and wonder if he loves you or just wants to "score"?
Maybe you need to tell him NOT to ask you again, and that you will tell HIM if you are ready.
Sex is SUCH a BIG thing in life, not just the physical act, but the way you feel after wards and how it changes your entire relationship, not to mention the fact that you could be making a BABY!!! Are you really ready for this?
Take care.
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