A
male
age
36-40,
*ocky123
writes:I am in love with a married woman. She is one of our teaching staff in our college. I don't know when it started but now I can feel that. At First I was thinking that its just an infatuation,and will go out of mind after some time. But it didn't. I am in great trouble.I see her daily. The day I don't find her I feel restless. I don't know why?She doesn't have kids. She is very good I wonder people like her exist on this planet. I am not talking about her external beauty only I am talking as a whole person.I have observer her a lot. If somebody will ask me what would you like to become in your life? Then I would just say that "I will love to be like her".I don't know what to do? But this is 100% sure that I don't to hurt her in any way. If by telling my feelings to her She will feel bad then I will never ever open my mouth.And the greatest problem is that she is not from my department so I can't talk to her. But I don't forget to see her everyday.Its just like worshipping God everyday.Probably she also knows that I look her everyday. But she has not told anything to me.How generous she is? She is not at all bothered about all these.I don't know what does she think about me,may be as a crazy guy or as a great idiot. I just want to talk to her. Few days back I talked also but it was hardly 2-3 minutes talk. It was just a formal talk. Now how should I tell her.I don't want to be her my life partner but I wish to be in touch with her through out my life,.How should I begin?
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male
reader, EN_Ken  +, writes (17 September 2009):
Love is something that must be built over time and through getting to know someone.
The fact of the matter is, you don't know what she is like in a relationship because you have never dated her. The person that you look at and occasionally interact with everyday is not the same person that you would get if you were in a relationship with her. This desire for her is you putting her on a pedestal. You have built up an image of her that may have no basis in fact. Instead of professing your love for her, I would suggest that you get to know her and figure out what her faults are. Your initial reaction to that statement may be that you believe that she has none, but that would be incorrect. Everyone has faults. Love is about loving the person as they truly are and not the person that you THINK they are.
-Ken Phillips
http://www.franktalks.com
A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (17 September 2009):
 If you've never spoken to her indepth, you can not know what makes her tick. All you have are your impressions and THAT is what you are in love with.
I suggest you concentrate less on how to be in her life and more on how to stop obsessing over her.
Certainly do not tell her your feelings.
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