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female
,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my fiance 4 months ago, and I know it's stupid that I looked at his myspace just now, but I did and there was a picture of him with a girl at a club, and in one of the pics she is kissing his cheek. He is wearing a necklace with a heart and key (one he bought after we broke up and told me it was because I was the key to his heart). His page says he is single, but I can't get that picture of her and him out of my head. Why was he wearing the necklace-is he still in love with me no matter who he dates? I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive, but he always said that he would end up marrying me even if he married someone else first. I changed my number about a month ago because he wouldn't leave me alone, but a part of me just won't let go of him. He is in my thoughts and dreams, and I am in so much pain right now. Has he moved on? Or will he always love me? What do I do? Is dating someone new the only way to get over him? Life feels like it really sucks right now, like I did this to myself, and there is nothing I can do to make the pain go away. Seeing him with that girl makes me want to throw up, and I keep worrying if he thinks she's prettier than me. What do I do??!!
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Hi, I agree with the other replies here so won't go over that but about 3 months ago I split with my girlfriend due to the emotionally abusive nature of the relationship... In fact it was far more complicated than that.
Whilst going through the getting over it phase I sought counselling as there were other issues and the abusive nature of the relationship made me look at myself and my own issues.
Take a look at an article I wrote showing how I struggled, what I did to cope, and I have to say it really worked for me...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
Hope it helps and feel free to mail me through this site if you like or let me know your thoughts by posting a reply :)
Best of luck and you hang in there!
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 February 2008):
 Hi there,
this is why I hate sites like Facebook and Myspace, they are just windows into people's personal business. Nobody has any privacy anymore.
Anyhoo, you know that the best way to kill these thoughts is to never ever visit his webpage again. That's a bad road to travel and is only ever going to end in heartbreak, what did you really expect to find there ? , that he would be miserable and lonely? He has moved on with his life you should to, don't put yourself on the shelf, get out there and meet new people and enjoy your life. We have only a short time on this planet, there's no point wasting it harping back to days past . Live for the future. Good luck
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A
female
reader, insidebeauty  +, writes (7 February 2008):
What you're feeling is totally normal. Yes you broke it off with him and now he's out having fun. Yes he can still love you and be with other chicks... he is a man (age?). A proposal is a Huge Commitment and getting dumped will make almost any guy get attention elsewhere. I don't know him personally, but since he's out drinking, has a single status, and his default pic is of a chick kissing his cheek, he's trying to move on (or make you jealous?). If you ever decided to get back with him, you'd have to be able to deal with the fact that he's most likely slept with other chicks. (impossible!)
My best advice is to work on yourself, stay busy, have friend/family support, LET HIM GO, and don't look at his myspace page. A school counselor once told me (a very broken hearted high schooler) that no matter how you dice it, dealing with it is like dealing with a death. You will go through all the same emotions but will heal over time. TIME. Don't just date someone to get over him. Find your best qualities and fine tune them, work out, help others, etc. I swear you'll eventually get over him. You are strong and beautiful. What are your passions? Do to relieve stress? Don't let a guy have that much control over your heart.
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