A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My long distance bf is really sweet. He tells me he loves me, talks almost all the time when not at work or sleeping. He's doting and talks about the future. When we will see each other again. But I feel very insecure after getting out of a long relationship before him. Sometimes when he sends me nudes he's sending them and talking flirty talk and then he's online but not on our conversation. If I write one sentence and send then I start another by the time I send the second the ticks are unread while he is still online. As if he sees me typing and he goes to a different conversation meanwhile. He always says he is adamant against cheating as he got cheated on. But if I ask he always says what the fuck no I am only here talking to you. But he will go offline so I know he is definetly still online when I think these things. He also recently shaved his pubes when I hadn't seen him do this before. He said for hygiene reasons bow the weather is getting warmer and got offended that I would be suspicious. He always seems very upset when I get suspicious. He then reassures me a lot. I don't know if it's that I can't take long distance or that he's playing this nice guy character and maybe knows how to play women. But then he talks of me moving over to he with him and that he has a lot of plans for the future for us. I'm so confused because I think is my Intuition wrong and I'm just really suspicious. I really do t want to get hurt but if I'm wrong then I'm going to feel like an idiot and end up throwing it all away.
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at work, flirt, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2021): Sweetheart, maybe it's time to find yourself a decent local-guy; and just end this long-distance relationship junk.
You're on the "d!c-pic exchange," and it's leading to nowhere!
If he's sending you nude photos; then I suppose you're doing the same in return.
If you suspect he's simultaneously online, while he's interfacing with you; perhaps you're not the only one he's exchanging nudie-pics with. You're probably hesitant about breaking-up; because you like being spoon-feed a bunch of sweettalk, and addicted to his love-dovey nonsense. Meanwhile, you're sending this dweeb naked photos he can do whatever he pleases with them. Including sharing them with friends and online. Posting your nudes on the internet, while you're unwittingly chitchatting with him online.
My motto is: I refuse to voluntarily subject myself to situations that cause drama, headaches, or unnecessary stress. If it doesn't promote growth, give praise to the Lord, or enrich my spirit...I can do without it.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (7 May 2021):
 I agree with Fatherly Advice.
I think its a mistake to enter into new relationships when we are not 100% healed from previous relationships.
Only when we truly healed, happy in our own skin, and have a love for ourselves are we ready to move on.
You are finding every reason to distrust him, trust is one of the most important factors that bind a relationship together.
Just because he is chatting in other groups, or your ticks have not gone blue does not mean he is being devious. I sometime have two or three chats going on at once, whether it be work, family or friends.
You are making this more difficult than it really needs to be. I think maybe you should step back from this relationship and maybe work on yourself, because i think at this moment in time you are not ready for this long distance relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 May 2021):
 I have to say, I agree 100% with FA
SPOT ON!
You are letting your imagination rule your life. You think his actions are ALL about you ALL the time, come on!
He isn't online/offline to somehow insult or make you feel insecure. YOU are insecure for whatever reason and you should REALLY work on why and DEAL with that BEFORE jumping into a relationship.
And NOT a long-distance one.
Sure, he could be a player. You can't really know because you don't spend enough time IN PERSON with him to figure that out.
If the relationship feels so complicated for you why keep dating him?
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (6 May 2021):
 It looks like three strikes to me.
Long distance relationship.
You are still too close to your last relationship. Rebound.
And rampant insecurity.
Sure the guy could be a player, or a nice guy, or a scam artist. We can't tell. But what is obvious is that you are not ready to be in a relationship. Especially a long distance relationship.
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