A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I feel so confused and messed up at the moment. I have been in a relationship with my bf for a month now and i dont feel happy in it. He treats me right, well I think he does anyway and he doesnt do anything overly wrong. Compare him to my ex bf who was abusive, hes a saint really. But im just not happy. Im constantly thinking he doesnt like me and fearing he will break up with me. If he takes a while to reply to a text message i think he hates me. Even tho often there always is a reason. I never tell him how i feel with these doubts because i think he will think im an overly emotional person and i dont want him to think that because it always seems to scare people away. they get tired of me and push me away eventualy because i wear them out with me being upset al the time.i dont know what to do. i try not to eat because it makes me feel better hwne i have nothing to eat. it makes me feel phsyical pain from the hunger pains. so much easier then the emotional pain i feel. i cant stand feeling like this anymore. constantly worried, scared and full of uncertanity. please help!i am 18 years old. my bf is the same age.
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female
reader, sexi  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi
You need to understand that if you continue like this you are going to push your bf away and you would end up alone. Try and seek professional help. You are in this state because of your previous relationship(i assume) you need to know that not all relationships are the same and neither are all guys. You can also speak to your bf and explain how you feel and ask him to understand when you go over the edge. Communication is really important and that should clear things up for you.I am sure that he wouold be supportive and give you lots of reassurance so that you can cope with this situation. Hope this has helped.
Regards,mail me if you wanna chat
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi Honey,
What worries me about this question is that you seem to have no respect for yourself. Your confidence is at an all time low as well.
You need to sort out yourself before everything else will fall into place. Believe me I have been there. Its very easy to slip back into that way of thinking (your not good enough, your ugly ,fat ect...) and you know really this isnt true, but it happens when you are afraid. And I would put money on that every time you start to get emotionally involved with a guy, this starts to happen.
Just because your Ex treated you bad doesnt mean that the next one will.
Its not the Guys that are the problem, its your self esteem. You just need to love yourself more, and not be so clingy to your new B/F.
Get some hobbies that take up your time and dont sit there waiting for his calls. He will call again if you dont reply straight away. Give this guy a chance, to prove he is different. As well as you trying to be differeent.
There is nothing wrong with you darling, you just need to break the pattern of letting people take advantage of you.
And for goodness sake eat something, no men like a bag of bones, no wonder you feel down, you must be starving.
XXXX
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A
male
reader, Karlos Omnis +, writes (30 October 2007):
 You owe it to yourself and your boyfriend to put this relationship on the back burner until you are fully over your ex.
It isn't fair to compare him if there really isn't any similarities.
You need to have some thinking time, before you end up scarring the pair of you.
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A
female
reader, Hels +, writes (30 October 2007):
Hi there,
I can completely sympathise with how your feeling flower. Im 32 and in the same situation as you, im constantly worrying about everything, my boyfriend is in the Navy and has gone to sea for 5 weeks with no contact and im constantly worrying that I wont hear back off him. Next year he goes for 5 months so I will drive myself demented.
Its a vicious circle that we are going through and no matter how much people try to advise you nothing works because it just doesnt sink in.
I actually went to see my doctor about how im feeling and was advised its mild depression, I have been given tablets which take the edge off it.
The only advice I have been given is to think positive and not negative and to stop beating yourself up. The more negative you are the more he will start to pick up on it and the more chance you have of scaring him off, because we all know that men cannot handle emotions as well.
If you want to chat privately feel free to contact me.
Sorry I cannot advise you but I just wanted to reassure you that your not alone
xx
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A
male
reader, a boy +, writes (30 October 2007):
hey hun im not sure if this will help but, if hes with u its because he likes u for all of the things you are. because ur beautiful inside out and u connect to him. it sounds like ur unhappy cuz of past stuff that ur holding onto and worrying about. if he always has a reaosn for the texts and stuff and if you think about it rationaly n u trust him then u should just try to leave the past behind and love him. soz if this wasnt much help or if u already thought that. i hope it all goes well. x
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