A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm kind of young-ish and I missed my period, I've been puking, mood swingy, I was crying hysterically last night for hours on end, anyway so I think that I might maybe be pregnant and my boyfriend says he doesn't want a kid "right now".My father who I live with would kick me out if he found out I was pregnant....I won't give it up if I am, I'd keep it but should I go and live with my mother who lives in another state? Or should I stay here with my boyfriend who doesn't want a child "right now"? He might try and make me give it up but I wouldn't want the baby to live without his father.... what do I do?
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female
reader, just-ask-xx  +, writes (24 November 2007):
 hi,
Just writing to ask how things are =D I hope you've told your parents, and the father!! And I was just wondering how things have went.
Mail me if you want to
love just-ask-xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): look gurl i think when a couple is resposible to have sez they aught to be resposible to use the right protection and if not live by the consequences of ur actions such std,and or pregnacy u and ur boyfriend are both responsible for that unborn child know ur boyfriend says im not ready for a child but hes ready for sex i know u guys r young and have alot to learn but get with the program if u really want to have a baby and raised on ur own not ur mother ok cuz its ur child i dont think ur boyfriend loves u that much if hes not too stick with thru thick and thin i think u should tell ur father in any kind of way write him a letter personally and go live with ur mom if shes ok if not ithink adoption is best way to go but always remember its ur choice and only ur choice not theirs
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A
female
reader, niki0 +, writes (31 October 2007):
just ask yourself this question could you do it on your own? i just had a baby and just split up with the father and am now on my own with to little angels i love my little girls more than anything in this world and would do anything for them your boyfriend should have thought about you getting pregnant and if he is not willing to support you then if i was you and you really want to keep yuor baby then i would just set my mind on myself and my baby and do whats best for the both of you hope this helps x
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female
reader, jay17 +, writes (16 October 2007):
The best thing to do is to tell your mother and go live with her finsh school and have the baby if thats what makes you happy dont listen to others deciding your future you decide that and how old are you the boyfriend has a say so but he took that risk when he had sex but it is your final decison and stop crying and worrying i am too a teen mother im 17 and at frist my mom didn't like it and my bf didnt want kids yet but he just had to deal wit it he shouldn't have ha sex he knew you could get pregnant tell him to be a man n take responsility i am only a month though and i am a senior in high school i graduate this year and i im still going to college next year you can do what every you put your mind to don't sell youself short because you have a baby
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A
female
reader, jay17 +, writes (16 October 2007):
The best thing to do is to tell your mother and go live with her finsh school and have the baby if thats what makes you happy dont listen to others deciding your future you decide that and how old are you the boyfriend has a say so but he took that risk when he had sex but it is your final decison and stop crying and worrying i am too a teen mother im 17 and at frist my mom didn't like it and my bf didnt want kids yet but he just had to deal wit it he shouldn't have ha sex he knew you could get pregnant tell him to be a man n take responsility i am only a month though and i am a senior in high school i graduate this year and i im still going to college next year you can do what every you put your mind to don't sell youself short because you have a baby
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): It doesn't matter what your b/f wants. He isn;t the one carrying this baby. I have a baby & another one on the way. You'll love that baby so much, and so will your mom & probably your dad too. You should talk to him before you asssume he'd kick you out. But if he does, and your mom will help you, then I think that is your best choice to go live with her. The guy will have to pay you child support & do not let him off the hook with that. He is equally responsible & paying a little child support is the least he can do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Sorry I got it wrong ... but i think it is right of you to want to keep the baby x
Good Luck
Sorry x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): My God you seem to have attracted anti-abortion protesters!
Like I said in my earlier post, you have to do what is best for you. You need to give the father chance to stick around if his feelings change towards having a baby. You must provide a stable and secure home so if your dad isnt going to be pleased and support you, it is probably best that you go and live with your mom. If your boyfriend wants to play a part then he will have to make arrangements to move closer. Make sure that you are pregnant first, dont make any rash decissions x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno you don't understand i beleive in abortion i think it's fine i just don't think i could do it.
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A
female
reader, Louise x +, writes (8 October 2007):
I really respect you for being against abortion x Stand up for what you believe in. If I was in your position, I would go live with my mum till after I had the baby, then let my boyfriend know when you are going into labour so that he could be there when His kid is born. Then talk to him about it when he sees his baby, which he helped create. If he still doesnt want to be a part of the babies life, he obviously doesnt care for you, and he will not stick by you through thick and thin. It is painful to think about, howeveryou may be better off without him!
So sorry that you are going through this, Good Luck Though 3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm sorry i guess for not clearly asking the question i wasn't intending on having an abortion though i do beleive abortion is right for some women {not me}. I would keep the child either way i guess i was just wondering if i should stay with my boyfriend who doesn't want the baby or go live with my mother who wouldn't mind. i wouldn't give my child up either way nor would i abort it {although like i said above i do beleive abortion is right for some women}. anyway thanks to all of you for your help.
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (8 October 2007):
 I am 18, an i am 37 wks pregnant.
Honey, I know eing pregnant is a huge responsibilty, but abortion is murder. I can understand why you want to give the child up, but that wont solve your problem. Which woul you rather live with, a child, or the fact that you have murdered a innocent helpless defenses baby?
The child did not ask to be put on this earth, but you have no right to take him/her off. Nature(or god, depending on your beliefs) is the only one who has that right. If you dont want to take care of the child, give it up for adoption.
No one can MAKE you give up the child.
If your boyfriend isn't going to be responsible for the child HE HELPED CREATE, to hades with him.
If going to live wiht your mother would put less stress on you then do it, but i doubt your father is REALLY gonna kill you, I thought my mother was going to murder me , but shes so happy!! you never know until you try
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (7 October 2007):
Make sure if you are pregnant first because that kind of changes everything :) If you are, I would say that you should tell the father, if he loves you, he'll try and if he says he doesn't want it, ask if he will still be a part of their life, no child should be brought up without their mother or father no matter what. I grew up with my father only and it seems you have too, I would also tell your mother and father. I know I mustn't have been much help but reply if you want to, love just-ask-xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): If you think that you can provide everything that a child needs and you are willing to have this child, then that decission is yours.
Many children grow up without one or the other parent around and turn out perfectly fine, if your boyfriend doesnt want a child then thats entirely his choice, what you need to work out is can you do it without him? Are you willing to have to do it on your own if he walks away? Dont rely on him feeling differently once the baby is here, for alot of young men the responsibility is too much.
If you dad will kick you out then you need to sort out where you will be living before the baby comes along, one of the most important this is a childs stability and surroundings as well as love, attention and care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): 1] Get a pregnancy test to see if this really is what you're dealing with. Until you know you're pregnant for sure, there may not be anything to worry about.
2] You're keeping the baby so really, the question becomes do you stay where you are or go?
Probably the first thing to do is talk to your dad -- this isn't the 1950s - although your dad might be disappointed that you're having a bub so early, he'll probably come around pretty quick. Maybe write him a letter & sit with him while he reads it or wait until you have your first ultrasound and give him that pic to look at. Grandpas (and grandpas-to-be) generally melt pretty quick when they SEE rather than hear it. Maybe give him the ultrasound pic & a tiny pair of bootees & you'll see the softer side.
3] If your boyfriend doesn't want a kid "right now", well that's too bad - he's getting one. If he's having sex, he has to realise that this is a consequence of that. So he IS going to be a dad (biologically), and now it's up to him to decide if he's going to be a dad in all the other ways when that bub comes along. And that's what you'll have to ask him. Most blokes generally don't intitiate babies, but when they're born they can't imagine life without them. So, that may not be a problem either.
If he loves you, he'll want to support you, whatever the decision.
4] If it all turns pear-shaped with both your dad & boyfriend, then at least you DO have somewhere to go (your mum's), so that's good.
You might be young, but you're thinking ahead already about this baby's welfare, and that's a really great sign for a mum-to-be of any age. No matter what happens, you'll love & look after this baby, so it's lucky already.
Congrats on your impending motherhood (if you are pregnant)! And best of luck with all the other stuff!
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