A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused and frustrated. I am in love with my best friend, okay, maybe not in love, well yeah... I love him. He has told me before that he doesn't like me like that, but it was ages ago and people tell me he might think differently now. Before I told him, we were close, after telling him, not straight away, we got closer, we cuddle, poke each other, rest our heads on each other and do, well... Kind of cute coupley things, we've never kissed or anything. He told me he hasn't cuddled a girl since his ex girlfriend. His ex started talking to him again and she went over his house recently, I didn't know it was her, he said it was a friend getting her haircut (which is true), his parents asked where she was like she was there just before I came and I've been over thinking it since. I'm not sure whether he only cuddles and hugs like he does because he's overly nice to everyone and he knows I like it, he'd never say that but it's a thought of mine. When he puts his arms around me I forget anything bad I feel, I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm so scared I'll be rejected, even more so than last time. Everyone tells me he likes me but they don't understand, if I wreck what we have now I don't think I'd get it back. We are friends and I know he'd be nice about it but I don't think I can handle it, the longer I put it off the more scared I get...One option I could never go with is not being his friend, I know the only answer left is tell him... But I still want to hear what others have to sayWhat should I do? Should I tell him?How do I tell him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): Guys... I told him and he doesn't like me like that but we're still friends, he will always be my best friend and he was really nice about it, I'm glad I told him. I do really hope we're friends for forever, which I know sounds crazy. I will try telling him again if I still like him then, not straight away, maybe when I am sure we could actually be more than friends. What I mean is I won't let this stop me from trying in the future, thanks all of you.
A
female
reader, crazyornot  +, writes (3 September 2012):
I remember when I first met my best friend - and I was about your age. I was 15 - and that was 17 years ago. I never had the guts to tell him that I was in love with him and after graduation we both went our own ways, but always stayed in touch. Two years ago when my marriage got rocky, he was the one that stuck beside me through it all, being the best friend that he'd always been. A real best friend knows what to tell you and when to tell you - and no matter what will love you. Then, last year I found myself pregnant - with his baby....and now, a year later (and 17 years after we became friends) we are tighter than ever and having a blast raising our son together. Was the timing right 17 years ago for me to tell him that I loved him? No....but eventually, through a lot of life events and a lot of growing up by both of us the time has now arrived.My advice to you is to enjoy each others company. Have fun together. Laugh. Cry. Dont be concerned about how your boyfriend is or even what others say about you and your best friends relationship. The time will come when it is obvious that you care deeply for them. Let that time come naturally.
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A
female
reader, dangerouslyinlove0228  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 Speaking from experience :
I don't think you should tell him because of the fact, somewhere down the line it will ruin your guys friendship. I had a (guy) best friend, we did everything together. He was one I could turn to anytime of the day for advice, help, someone to hangout with ... etc. But lil' did I know, homeboii had a thing for me & he did tell me. I couldn't believe it because I always thought of him as a Best friend/brother nothing more. Now, we're kind of distant from each other. I had to let him know that I couldn't look at him like that (relationship-wise) & that I hope he understands. It was heartbreaking for me to tell him because me being his best friend ... I would be the last one to even hurt him or never hurt him at all. I try to contact him, to try an get back how it use to be between the 2 of us. But, it feels so different. He rarely talks to me but I don't get it. He should be thankful that I told him straight upp than to play with his heart & hurt him later. you know? But then again, people are different. If you feel that our friendship is altered than go for it.
#Say what you feel & see what happens from there ... Good Luck ! ;)
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A
female
reader, HardToExplain  +, writes (31 August 2012):
 I'll offer my word, just what I think : First off I think it's very sweet you two have such a close friendship, perhaps a friendship tight enough to last through such a phase, sorry if you feel offended by the fact I've regarded you loving him as being a phase but that's how it could be looked at, people in such close friendships do sometimes experience falling in love with their friend but then learn that it was just a phase. Look up 'friend zoned' and I think that being friend zoned is what you are experiencing right now. It really isn't fair on you to be treated like this, I know that sounds really odd but you say that you do all these cute couple things together, even though he's rejected you once before.. I don't know whether he could just be having friendly fun with you or he does actually like you that way. But then you said about how his ex has been brought back into the picture again, now this really isn't fair on you, the fact he could be fooling around with his ex and you too is a warning sign, don't you think?
I don't see what would be so deathly wrong about telling him that you have these certain feelings towards him, seeing as the last time you did everything worked out okay, it's not like you guys argued or anything, right? I think your main priority should be trying to not make such a big thing about this, you may make him feel uncomfortable in your friendship and you don't want that. If you do certainly plan on telling him, tell him not to freak out prior to you actually telling him, you need to tell him as well that it's not fair that he's being giving you vibes that he likes you back with all these 'cute couple' things you mentioned, it's like he's basically leading you on. Please try to avoid loud voices that induce arguments at all times, remain calm and if he really was a best best friend then he would accept it and not completely ignore you or insult you for liking him. After all, he's basically encouraged you to like him anyway. Hope everything works out well for you, love! x
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