A
female
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*3x
writes:Hi, I'm in a bit of a situation here, My boyfriend is twice my age, i'm 19 and he's 38 this year, we have been together for over a year now and i have moved in with him, my parents are cool about it all as they know he looks after me. Thing is though i want to go to universirty or college and become a qualified midwife, he wants to start a family, now i'm in the situation of whether to leave him and go back home or stay with him, i wont be having kids but i love him so much, i dont really want to move back home as i like it here. he keeps saying though do what is best for you as you hvae a life ahead of you and i;ve already lived mine, its breaking my heart i really dont know what to do, please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): I think you owe it to yourself and to him to sit down and have a talk with him about this. You need to figure out your priorities and his. If children can wait for him, go get an education, because it is so very important in life. You can always stay right where you are and go to college. Tell him you feel you need an education and a career before you can start having a family. If he can't understand that, he's barking up the wrong tree with you. This is your life, and you deserve to do what you want to do. Don't let guilt stand in the way of your dreams. If you really want to go to college and get a career going, don't sell yourself short. A family can wait, especially for someone so young. Follow through with what you want to do, because once you start having children, you may find that it's just too late. You can stay with your boyfriend and not have children with him for now. If it's that important to him that he have children right away, maybe he's looking to the wrong woman. You owe it to yourself to live your life for you. Make yourself happy first. I know what you're going through is very hard, so I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out alright for you in the end.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): hey,If this guy is the one you really do fell you love then in a few years time you can have kids with him but make sure you do whats right for you now.
Never let him make you feel guilty about not wanting kids just yet, hes been 19 and i bet you anything he never wanted kids at your age. He got into this relationship knowing your age in the first place if he loves you like you think he does he'll understand and he'll wait for when your ready.
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