A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently met up with a friend of my ex whom i broke up with almost a year ago. He has cheated on me with another girl who is currently still his girlfriend. His friend said that they have just bought an apartment together. The first thing that came to my mind is they must be getting married, although the friend insisted that they are renting the place out. I also heard from another friend that the new girlfriend is busy with the renovation.My ex and I have not been in contact ever since the 2 of them became official. Curiosity was killing me and i guess i still could not get over the fact that he dumped me for another. I sms him and asked him whether he is getting married. He said he is not as there is a lack of job security, and also asked me not to share or believe what his friend says (his friend was the one who told me he was cheating on me with this new girlfriend, and about his regular one night stands, which he has never admitted).I feel upset. After one year, his one and only concern is that he is worried i will "share" what his friend told me with others. If i had wanted to do so, i would have done it a year ago.I wonder why he can be so nice to the girl and even have a place with her, while i am just someone he cheated on and dumped. After one year there is still no sense of guilt for hurting me. Suddenly i am crying every night again. I am like sinking into depression all over again. I am turning 30 in less than a year's time and it seems that everyone around me is getting married, and even himself is moving on so well and possibly cohabiting with the new girl soon. Marriage for him seems near.what the hell is wrong with me and my life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): I understand what you mean when you say you are curious....when you love someone that deeply and they leave you or visa versa, you want to know they're every move, what they are thinking, who they are with...I use to do the same thing with my ex...he went back to his baby's mother and they both had Twitter, Facebook and Myspace pages, and I can recall going on those sites constantly to see what the "update" was in their relationship and it hurt me when I would read of all the fun they were having, the gifts he was buying, the photos she would post of him and her....my heart was torn each and every time. Thank God that finally after one year, I was able to get over him totally. It will only take you time.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): firstly hugs from me. you need it right now.
have you perhaps thought about seeing this man for what he really is. a two timing pig! hun, those precious tears are being wasted on a bastard who cheated on you and had the audacity to deny it, then hooks up with her "officially" after you part. she also has to tell the world abotu their honeymoon life in the blog. so leave them be. perhaps try being indifferent to them. and slowly start healing. cry a few more tears and then have some much needed closure. take care and good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am finding it difficult to curb the curiosity. The girl started a blog last year, with updates on their love story. Every week she posts once or twice on how great their love is, how many things they have done together which even married couples dont..and how they have reached the ultimate stage of their relationship...i did not bookmark the page but i could memorise the url..just like how i could memorise his number even though i have deleted it a year ago..i am trying my best not to go to the blog..
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Don't worry your mind about how "nice" he is treating his new girlfriend...maybe it will last, maybe it will not. This guy dumped you for someone else so all you can do is move on (reluntantly), seek therapy, pray, read self help relationship books and allow time to heal your wound. Don't get desperate in finding a mate because, if you do, you will end up with the wrong guy all over again...maybe even worse than your ex. I know society tires to put time limits on when ppl should be married and have kids...esp. women, but I don't buy that crap for one moment. How the hell can anybody predict when and how true love will come about? It may not be meant for you to meant "the one" until you are 40...I am just saying you know? It just takes time. What you need to do is make sure that you are ready for "the one" when he appears in your life. Often times people get "the one" but that pass up on him or her because, they don't have they're lives in order, thus missing out on a great "once in a life time" chance. Unless your ex really loves this woman, respects her and holds her in high regard and has his moral values in place, the likely hood for him cheating and dumping her is very, very high.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 July 2010):
I bet he was nice to you as well first. That's how it starts. Oh yes, he's being nice now, in the first year. But in five years, will he still be nice to her? Who knows.
More importantly, why are you contacting him? You must have hear the saying 'curiosity killed the cat'? Basically, that's what's happened to you. you got curious and got in too deep again. You need to let this man go, delete his number and get back out there with friends and start to meet new people. You seem to be spending far too much time dwelling on what others are doing, and not on what you're doing. Time to do a little 'me work', as they say. Get out there and meet people, throw yourself into work and move on. And don't be curious about him again.
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