A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Last August I got with a guy for he first time, I went back to school and he went to college I didn't think much of it until I bumped into him a few weeks later at a party and he approached me and we chatted while both sobar. Two weeks later we saw eachother out again and got with eachother and it was all going great until my jealous ex (one of his good friends) lost it at both of us which of course ruined things. During October on another night he approached me but I was with a different guy and so said I can't sorry. A month later we were both out again I was with nobody at the time and we got together and again my ex lost the plot and spoilt it all. A month after that we randomly bumped into eachother again and have been texting and meeting up since. We went on a nice date one day and he had never tried anything on with me but when we are texting he seems disinterested and sometimes won't reply to me, I am wondering if he's actually interested in me or am I setting myself up for a fall? I'm not sure if he's just not into the whole texting thing because when we are together it feels special and he told me he never really texts girls but I'm an exception. What do ye think? Should I mention that I had sex with his best friend over the summer? Does that make this weird on him????
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female
reader, LJCX  +, writes (8 March 2016):
 I'm a bit confused by the last part where you say should you tell him you had sex with his best friend over the summer. If this jealous ex is the person you are referring to over the summer then surely he would already know you had sex because he is your ex and his friend.As for the bit where he seems disinterested when you text but is different in person then that's so much better than if it were the other way around. People can easily be all charming and fake in a text trying to lead you on. If you go out for dates and he doesn't try anything on he seems ok to me.It's not the best thing going from one friend to another, it can cause unnecessary problems. I used to see a guy a few years ago, I did genuinely like him when we were together but it grew to be more platonic than anything so we split up. I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever and in theory I shouldn't care that my best friend then started seeing him. But when I saw them together I felt really strange! It didn't sit well with me even though I didn't have feelings for him. If your ex was very jealous anyway then it would have caused a problem. Starting something with your exe's friend could be weird for both of them, it may be putting him off and that could be the reason he goes funny while texting. Probably starting to feel a little guilt. Then when he sees you that goes out of the window because he likes you. If I were you I would ask him how he felt about his friend being your ex, you don't have to say you are asking because he's distant on text, just ask out of curiosity. No harm in asking that.Is a man who hooks up with his good friends ex all that good though? Usually friends don't go there out of respect. You could surely find another boyfriend who isn't in his life. There is also a chance that your ex could bad mouth you, especially as you say he is a very jealous person.But no don't take texting too seriously, some people just don't like it all that much, I miss the days when we didn't have mobiles and we weren't in constant contact with everybody! It kills the art of conversation when all people know is text speak.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 March 2016):
 I think the problem here is that he is good friends with your ex, and if he really is a true friend then he would not do that. Also maybe he knows you had sex with his friend so he doesn't see you as anything more than a hook up. It is difficult to tell, but the best thing that you can do is ask him where do you stand? If you like him well then tell him, ask him on a date and see how it goes.
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