A
male
age
30-35,
*AMeron56
writes:Hello!My name is Cameron and I'm 20.I desperately need some help because I have no idea how to deal with the situation that I'm in right now.My ex gf Natasha(25) and I dated for nearly a year.Prior to getting together we were really good friends.When we first met we hit it off right off the bat and and we never once argued about anything when we were just friends.At the beginning of our relationship we got along but eventually,as time went by,we got into so many arguments.We ended up arguing every single day.It wasn't working so she decided to break it off.I wasn't mature enough to her.I didn't want to break up,it really wasn't mutual but I came to terms with it.Natasha has a sister.Her name is Maria.She's 28(much older than me).I got to know her when me and Natasha were still dating.I didn't know her that well but after the breakup she started contacting me more often than usual and by that I mean every day if not every day at least 5 or 6 times a week.She messaged me on Facebook.I found it very strange but I didn't think she had a crush on me because she's 8 years older than me.I thought that Natasha put her up to this so one day when I was in a really bad mood,because of my parents who put me in it which is a story for another time,I let my emotions get the better of me and basically told her to tell Natasha the same thing she told me when she broke up with me-to grow up.Then the most unexpected thing happened-after telling me that Natasha had nothing to do with that she gradually admitted to having a major crush on me,even said that she had dirty thoughts.I was flabbergasted and just couldn't believe that.I assumed it was a joke so I ceased to respond to her messages and ignored her for a couple of days.The following week I learned that Natasha had a new bf.That pissed me off so yet again I let my emotions get the better of me and I went straight to Maria and asked her out on a date.Long story short we ended up having sex and now I'm in a relationship with her.The problem is-I don't like Maria,I don't love her and I'm really not interested in her in any way.I'm really flatted that a 28-year-old likes me but it's not mutual and I still love Natasha.I do realize I have to move on from her because sleeping with her sister ruined my chances of ever getting back together with her even if things don't work out between her and her new bf.When she found out I slept with Maria she knew I did it out of spite so it's safe to say she condemns me now,maybe even hates me.What should I do?I don't wanna be with a woman I don't like or love but at the same time I have no one and every time I close my eyes I get flashbacks of all the good times I had with Natasha.I really need some advice pls!Thank you!
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (9 March 2016):
This is a disaster! You slept with her sister and in any circumstance this is wrong! Thankfully you're not with your g.f now as this would cause a lot of friction in the family.
Call this a lesson learnt and move on. Yes, you're heartbroken and miss your ex. This is a normal part of grieving your lost relationship. But even if your ex came back to you, do you think you'd be able to have a happy relationship knowing what happened with her sister? I doubt it.
My advice is this...mourn the end of your relationship, learn from your mistakes and look to the future. You will meet someone new and be happy again.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 March 2016):
 My advice would be to accept the chances of you redeeming yourself with Natasha are probably zilch! Sleeping with a best friend is bad enough but a sister...personally I think that should be added to the list of 10 commandments. Thou shall not sleep with ex's sibling out of spite. You just cant take it back. Can you imagine how many times that would come up during an argument even if you were to get back together? Nope, do your best to move forward. As for the Maria, her punishment will be your honesty.
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A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (8 March 2016):
 Hi,
i would strongly encourage you to break up with Maria, primarily because you have admitted that you don't like, nor love Maria.
You must ask yourself, How would i feel, if i were in Maria's shoes?
The age difference is a bit of an issue, because Maria is substantially older than you and you're still quite young, however, if you guys were totally suited and madly in love, i wouldn't see a real issue, other than the fact that you slept with your ex gfs older sister.
The fact is, you don't like her, nor love her, so you should be a man and do right by Maria and Natasha.
You and Maria would always have family issues to contend with too, even if you did work out and remain together.
The huge issue would be Natasha and the fact that you slept with her big sister, not to mention that Maria is older than you and not by a mere 2 or 3 years.
I doubt that Natasha would ever get over that.
Do yourself the biggest favour and break up amicably and respectfully with Maria and get on with your life.
I think you are only remaining with Maria, because you've confessed that you don't have anybody and in some strange way, perhaps Maria offers you much comfort, less arguments than her sister and you had, plus maybe even Maternal comfort?
Think about this.
You need to cut ties with both ladies and set yourself free.
This would be the truly wise and healthy thing to do right away.
Remaining will only bring you both more pain and heartache, especially for Maria, because she really likes you.
I wonder whether Maria has a secret fetish of being with younger men?
Have you ever wondered about that?
I wish you all the best and please let me know how you get on.:-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2016): Get out of this mess now - you can't live a lie and it's not fair on anybody. Abandon ship!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2016): Avoid her sister like the plague so u forget about her. Don't go to places that you guys used to go and don't go to their house, except to pick up Maria. Yes stay with Maria as long as possible so you can get over her sister.
The only reason you should leave Maria is if she looks like her sister and reminds you of her. Or if you are really not progressing to getting back to normal while being with her. In that case you need to find a new girl and move forward with your life. good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 Fist off get out of a relationship with Maria. Maria has admitted to you that she likes you, and well basically what you have done is use her, and you are still continuing to use her, the more you do this well the more you are going to hurt her. So it is time to break it off with her and cut all contact.
As for Natasha. Well she has moved on. You may still love her and well that is okay, but a relationship will not work between two people if they are always arguing, and well I don't think she would ever get back with you now after being so childish and sleeping with her sister. You need to block all contact with both sisters and move on with your life.
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