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I wonder if he's become distant but I'm trying to change!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2009)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi. I really hope someone can help me..I appreciate any responses I get. Ok, so me and my boyfriend were togethr for like six months and it was amazing..like I couldn't have been happier and he felt the same. People we didn't know would comment on happy we seemed together, and many of our friends and family said we were perfect for eacother, like the same person etc. Anyway, we broke up quite suddenly because my boyfriend said that he was sick of the way that I always wanted my own way and threw a tantrum and stuff when I din't get it etc. And I'll admit it, he was totally right. I had lots of conversations with my family and friends and I've been working really hard at fixing this horrible aspect of my personality. I don't want to be like that, it's not nice at all. So myself and my boyfriend were broken up for ten days which was absolute hell. I completely lost my appetite and my ability to sleep. We were in some kind of contact every day and my ex would ask me would I change things to make us work,but I generally avoided the question because I felt scared that if I allowed myself to think we might fix things it would come crashing down around me.

We are 20 and 21 so we were going out with our respective friends, but never bumped into eachother, which I was very grateful for because I was terrified about seeing him. He made contact with me every day of our breakup and sometimes he would ask me if I had kissed anyone else,and I told dim I hadn't. He told me he still loved me too. Anyway, last nigh we met up for the first time and we talked and he said that if I really did change the things mentioned at the start then he wanted us to get back together. I was really happy, but I felt a bit worried because he still seemed very distant with me or something. I know it will take time for things to be good again(and I'm praying they will be), but I'm just wondering has anyone else been in this position? I want to fix things so badly, I want to make it up to my boyfriend so much because I love him more than anything. I'm afraid he's having second thoughts though and maybe that's why he's being distant??:(

View related questions: broke up, get back together, my ex

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A female reader, ilovebowsandcherries United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2009):

ilovebowsandcherries agony aunthun i think in some ways he is being distant because he feels the same way as you do.

you say you don't want things to come crashing down i'm sure that's what he feels as well and you say you want to change but are afraid that you may not be able too but i'm sure you can and maybe because you're thinking negativly on this he's picking that up therefore he's not getting a good vibe from you wanting to make this work. i'm not saying you don't want this to work of course you do and so does he but because you're not AS positive towards changing then he may get that vibe that you're not that confident of the outcome and he feels a bit edgy and distant towards you.

do you see what i mean?

you can fix things and you BOTH will you guys just need to work with eachother to achieve it give eachother that bit more confidence and boost eachothers spirits :)

hope this helps hun if you want to talk further please don't hesitate to pop me a message :)

x ilovebowsandcherries x

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