A
female
age
41-50,
*ass
writes:Ok, so I have been with my current partner for nearly 6 months now. It's been the first relationship in nearly 10 years where I can honestly say that I really like him. He has his head screwed on the right way, works for himself, has his own house etc etc. The thing is, I really like him, and I'm not always sure that he feels strongly for me. I feel he likes me, but there is just something niggling away at me about his feelings for me. He isn't as touchy as me, I do like my cuddles - he said he did too at the beginning, although, it always feels like it is me that does those things nowadays. Sex is good between us and hasn't dimished at all, but it's the other things. He has two young children, the oldest is only 4yrs, and has still to get a divorce from the wife (although they have been seperated for more than 2 years now - and I am the first person he has had a relationship since the breakdown of his marriage) I wonder sometimes if that is the reason he seems much more hesitant than me to opening up in the relationship. I recently found out I was preganant, he was very strong in his opinion that he didn't want any more children. I had a termination. I would like to say that his feelings did not make me do it, as I wasn't comfortable with having a child so early in the relationship either, but I'm not sure. It made me see a different side to him. I'm not sure what it is I'm asking for from anyone who reads this. Sometimes I wonder what he feels for me, he can't tell me how he feels for me, and never says anything along those lines unless I ask, and even then he doesn't really answer me. Do you think this man will ever be able to open up and let me in, or am I just wasting my time with him? When is a suitable enough time to say - that's it - I need to know if you see me in your life in the future? Any thoughts on this would be good :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): you arent quite 6 months into a relationship with a man who isnt divorced. he has two small children...i dont think he has anything to give you at this point frankly. i would bet he is keeping his feelings close and has his walls up. emotionally he just doesnt have it at this time. i dont see a future in this. mal
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): If he is not yet divorced that is unfinished business in his life... He needs to close that chapter.
What if two years down the line you feel you are ready to have children? What if the divorce has not happened until then? What if his children need him then? What if his wife starts pleading that he come back?
All these seem unlikely since he is separated but separted, undivorced people end up creating messes for themselves and others. If you are looking for something long term I'd recommend you move on...
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