A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy for about three months. We broke up about a year and a half ago. I came to realize after a while that the true reason he dumped me (I think) is because he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend who he dated for two years In high school. I took the break up really hard, and still think about him to this day. I've half moved on(hooking up with other guys and actually I've really started to like this one guy, but my feelings for my ex are still stronger.) anyway, aftere he broke up with me, he got back together with her and they've been dating for the past 10 months. We've continued talk and be good friends, but never hung out or anything. for some reason he's always really flirty with me, giving me the impression that he still likes me but his feelings for her are just stronger. Here comes my dillemma. She broke up with him a week or two ago, and now he wants to hang out with me. We did last night and nothing serious happend, he didnt try anything to my releif. My question is though, do I continue to hang out with him? knowing that I have feelings for him and he's still in love with her. I dont want to be the rebound, and i'm afraid hes just asking me to hang out because he has an idea that i still like him and he's completely being an ass and using me for company. on the other hand, its really nice to see him again and hang out and maybe he does really like me, would it be too stressful on me to continue to hang out, and when he tries something, to stop him, saying hes not over her and i dont want to be his rebound? Is he using me? does he actually like me i wonder? I just dont want to get hurt again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): Doesn't the fact that he didn't try anything show that he isn't just using me for sex? what if i give him time to get over it, but still hang out with him?
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (8 July 2011):
i would talk to him and ask him but it also sounds like you are second best which i would not put up with as you deserve better he only wants to hang out with you when he is single and you don,t see him when he has a girlfriend he is just using you as a backup i wouldnt stand for it personally
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 July 2011):
 Maybe he does like you - but only as a friend. I think if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't spend too much time with him right now, especially if he's still in love with the other woman.
Why not continue to pursue others who are free to be with you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): I think your instincts are dead on about him using you as a buffer. I would say this time around he's skipping the whole rebound thing and just trying to hook up with you and use you for sex...hence the hanging out and not going out anywhere.
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A
female
reader, blueangelx15 +, writes (8 July 2011):
I would talk to him before you continue to hang out. Tell him you don't want to get the wrong idea, make things clear so you and him are on the same page when hanging out and neither of you get confused or get the wrong idea about anything.
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