A
female
age
41-50,
*rknhrt
writes:Hi,So my one week ago today I woke up and my husband and all his belongings were gone. I have not heard from him since. We have 2 sons ages 1 and 7. My oldest is devastated and I don't know what to tell him. I know my husband ran back to his mom's house but I haven't contacted him. I feel like he abondoned us so why should I contact him. We have had a really hard year in every aspect of our marriage. Our son was born a year ago and has undergone 5 open heart surgeries, my husband lost his job, We had to move, and I have been really moody. Once our son was born our lives were turned upside down. We spent 5 months straight at the hospital not knowing from day to day if our son was gonna live or die. This is what makes me so hurt. How can he just get up and leave him after he saw him suffer and fight so much to be here with us??? I am a full time nursing student so with the stress of school and my baby and just life I have not been nice to him at all. I always complain and get mad at him. I understand why he would have been fed up but I feel like he should have came and talked to me. He left in the middle of the night without saying by to any of us and now I am lost. I had to stop school because I have no sitter and my kids need me right now to get them through him not being here. Any advice would be helpful.Thanks for listening.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008): Dear Poster
I am very sorry to read about all your problems and what your baby had to suffer to survive; yes indeed I can understand that emotionally and physically it must have been very draining on you; it is sad that your husband left you in such a cowardly manner;
BUT
maybe it all got to much for him and he needed a break;
However
he should have done it in a more appropriate way; yet, I am not here to judge him; he probably could not face you or the kids to say "I am leaving"; whatever his excuse or reason might be, I am sure he is also hurting and is probably to scared to contact you; feeling bad and guilty.
I suggest you try and make contact with him; arrange for him to come to the house and see the children and to have a talk.
Please do have a good honest conversation with him; STAY CALM; try not to blame or accuse;
I suggest you both need to go for counseling; there is a lot of hurt in both parties and you will need professional help to MOVE FORWARD.
Don't beg him to come back; just merely take it one step at a time; start with a meeting and do get counseling; get him to help you and support you with the children.
You have both been through a very traumatic time and it will take time to recover but if you both make an effort and do what is best for your family I am sure you can work things out to be together again or at leat have a more ammicable arrangement.
You need to be strong for your children and I do hope you have family and friends to support you during this very difficult time.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Keep me posted.
Best wishes, give the little ones an extra hug and lots of SMILES.
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