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female
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anonymous
writes: i feel lonely at times..my ex and i broke up and we had a year of no contact..i still had feelings for him so i contacted him and we have been talking for almost a year now. I make sure if we are on the phone--i sound nice, happy and busy most of the time. He told me to let him get his head together before we see each other. I do keep busy..but just sometimes i feel lonely or don't even do as many poductive things like my ex which makes me actually kind of envious of his life. And sometimes i don't even feel the motivation to do some things.He seems to always keep busy since i have known him(sometimes i actually thought there had to be something a little tiny bit off that he had to be busy most of the time..like to keep from thinking of other things or from boredom maybe)...95% of the time there was always something for him to do and there still is...from working on the car, or working on his mom's car..doing his side jobs of lawn work etc, helping his brother with his carpentry business..or then he will have to do things at his mother's house..there was usually something needing to be done..and i actually admire that stuff and wish i can do things of that nature....and if then if it wasnt that..he would be trying to clean all the stuff in his room--papers, clothes on the floor etc---he has his own apartment but stays at his mom's house alot of the times.i just even feel like he has a better life than me sometimes..when i feel this way--it doesnt necessarily motivate me at times to do things..i feel sad and just want to shut down...i still do keep busy but today is one of those days where i am thinking of him and the stuff he is probably doing and other things going on and just feel blah..hard to explain i guess.its a weird feeling to250638943693 and to be totally fine doing those things alone. Sometimes i would wonder how did he not feel lonely..b/c alot of those things consisted of being alone..unless he had friends or random girls calling in betweenany advice?
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male
reader, vssia  +, writes (31 May 2010):
He's out doing what you should be doing. Living his life.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 May 2010):
 My guess is that he's making himself sound busy to impress you. That's out of the "talking with your ex" handbook you know - always sound busy and slightly mysterious.
You can't compare your life with his or anyone else's. Think about what you want out of life and make it happen. If you want to hang out with more friends, call some. If you want to do more hobbies, learn some and spend some time doing it. But, I think you actually have a good life, but are comparing it to his and feeling like you need him more than he needs you.
The grass is always greener on the other side. In order to have someone be happy with you, you must be happy with yourself. Instead of finding the perfect guy, just be the "perfect" girl and love life. Whether this guy gets his head on straight or what he's doing with his life will cease to be important to you.
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