A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have being having a relationship with a married woman for 1.5 years who is a work collegue. Everytime I try to end it I always end up going back.She kind of panics and makes me feel guilty to a extent that I will hurt her. She doesnt want me to leave her but at the same time she is not commiting. I am single. She says she loves me and cannot offer me anymore. How can I end this with hurting myself or her and still remain frields and a work collegue. I have asked her several times why she is having a affair but I never get a response. I have relised this is going no where and I need to concentrate on finding a more stable realtionship. She has said to me to wait a bit longer. Why? Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, isaacdeese  +, writes (7 June 2010):
End the relationship as hard as it is. Stick to your decision no woman wants a guy they can tell what to do. If she really wants to be with you she will find a way to do it. If she cant give her marriage up its because she's not ready to do that, the only way you help her figure that out is if she feels the emptiness that she will feel once you leave her.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (31 May 2010):
 If you want to end things, tell her husband. Works every time. You may end up on the wrong end of an ass whoopin', but it will get you out of this dead end relationship.
This is why you don't shit where you eat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): to the female anon who is sleeping with her bossman, it is always the wif's fault isn't it? not the husband, not even a teeny bit! if he hasn't committed to you in 3.5 years perhaps you should take off the blinding glasses and perhaps just perhaps it is HIM who doesn't want to part with the assets. darling you are old enough to know this; the MM stays because he wants to. no big secret or anything like that.
to the OP, i think you have made your decision and you should stick with it. i think you know this is going no where and that you need a decent relationship. perhaps this time an unmarried person. if you settle for scrap then expect scrap. have you thought of this - do you want a partner who cared nothing about her marriage therefore she is f@cking around with you. normal men run a mile, there is an unspoken rule: f@ck them and leave them and NEVER make them your wife. in the end you know the score. if she does it with you she will do it to you. becareful what you wish for.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): I hope when you find an answer please reply. i am in the same boat you are in with a male co worker for about 3.5 years now. i am single as well he's not. you will get alot of harsh words for that post. although i have fallen in love with this man and around here there are no other jobs that pay what i make. i have tried to walk away and not look back but i can't. it tears my heart out. so he has assets that want allow us to commit. although he spends alot of outside of work time with me it is still hard when its time to go home. his wife has saw txt that he sent me but hes still there. i think its a money thing on her part but i hope everything will work out for you. please feel free to email me if you want to talk.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (31 May 2010):
 The person who should feel guilty is her for cheating on her husband. You're doing the right thing by trying to end it. One thing you may want to think about if you need help ending it is - imagine YOU were the husband, and she's cheating on you without your knowledge. Now imagine that she does the impossible and leaves her husband for you. What makes you think she wouldn't cheat on you with someone else if she gets bored/depressed/fill-in-the-blank enough?
You do need to find a more stable relationship, because right now, you're playing second fiddle, and she has no intention of letting her husband go for you, which is why she keeps telling you to wait and keeping you at arm's length.
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