A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge problem i really need help with. Over 4 months ago i got back with my ex i had been with since i'v been a teenager. We have both gone throug rough times together and i have suffered badly from depression in the past. We were both hard to deal with but loved eachother so much we kept coming back. The problem is anytime we were apart, we always knew we'd get back together. But i used to go out and get very drunk and kiss lots of people. Now i see these people when i'm with my boyfriend and get a feeling of guilt in my stomach. He knows i'v been with people he just doesnt really know who they all are. Every now and then someone will pop into my head and i wonder if i actually did kiss them or go any further. I am always honest with my boyfriend, but its only now that we have a great relationship that i have no reason to justify my actions. I kissed friends of his, i got in with the wrong crowds.. And now i feel smothered by the fact that i cannot be honest with him about so many things because i can't remember!! I feel like i went behind his back with the people i did kiss and the people in which i can't remember what exactly i did with them sexually. I hate being reminded of things everytime we pass these people on the street.and its worse when i'm with my boyfriend. What should i do and do i need to remember everything? HELP!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010): thanks so much, that answer really touched me. It was very inspiring. My boyfriend does love me and he doesn't know about every experience, but knows i can't remember the exact details of some. He told me to stop thinking about it as he doesn't want to. He wants to just go on and be happy with me. Maybe you're right and i should stop beating myself up for my mistakes. After all whatever path i've taken has brought me back to the love of my life. I will take your advice about the bath and tell myself that often. Thank you so much.
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (8 May 2010):
 Life wasn't meant to be easy. And we all go through rough times every now and again.Maybe you should have a warm bath, and sit back and relax. And promise to yourself that you will start again. You will forget about the past and not let it hurt you in any way.I hope that got you hypnotised. They are the kind of things my hypnotist says to me. He puts me into a half-sleep and tells me not to let the past upset me.It applies to everyone. We all spend way too much time worrying about things that happened years ago.I'm sure your boyfriend loves you and he would not care too much if you mentioned to him the things you used to do when you were drunk.The main thing is that this kind of inappropriate behaviour has stopped. I hope that all made sense.You don't really need to remember these past unpleasant experiences anymore.
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