A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help with this. This school year, I've developed quite the crush on my teacher, and I actually do believe I might love him. But he's my teacher, I'm half his age and he's engaged. I want to know how I can get over him for good, because really, any feelings I have for him are A) Stupid because he's a grown man, and I'm just a student, and B) Selfish because he's engagedIf anyone in the same position has successfully gotten over a crush like this, I could really use some pointers!!!!! Any help is IMMENSELY appreciated!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): Hiya.
First off, I'm so bloody glad you know it's just a crush, I wish I had been that smart when I liked my teacher.
You're right - I thought I was in love but with hindsight I can see that it wasn't, that it was just a crush. So first of all, I'd caution you to try and not develop stronger feelings for him (as hard as that is - trust me, I know!!)
Now some pointers in how to get over it.
The answer is - there is no answer!! I know that sounds crappy. But I shall explain. There isn't any default to getting over someone, no matter how much or how little you like them. Besides, 'trying' consciously to get over a person never works. From experience it just makes it worse!! Personally, I don't agree with the other answers in that I don't think you should try to avoid him. That won't work, especially if you are in the same school as him. You're bound to run into him, plus making the effort to avoid him is far too much hassle to make for this guy.
Just soldier through it, is the best way I think. I had extremely intense feelings for my art teacher for 5 years and now he's nothing than a teacher I'm very close to. Liking a teacher is something of a learning curve, it hurts like hell, it always does, but you just have to be strong and get through it. I've lost count of the number of times I tried to get over my teacher but it never worked.
How I got over him? Well, I began to crush on another guy, an available guy!! I didn't realise it happening until one day I realised I didn't have feelings on my teacher again. Now I'm very close to the new guy, I have genuine, real feelings for him, and he feels the same way as I do.
It works out for the best, when you get over your teacher. In the end, when you develop feelings for someone else and really get into it you'll realise that, in comparison, the feelings you had for your teacher were nothing but superficial. It's called infatuation and it's a bitch but you just gotta soldier through.
I hope I've helped and haven't upset you or hurt your feelings. I just think it's better to be realistic about the whole thing because it's such a delicate matter. Feel free to mail me on this site if you want further help!!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): I agree with neighbours1994 - you should try to avoid him. But trust me, it will not be easy. Your feelings will often get in the way, and when you graduate it will be almost impossible to let go. I should know, because I've been in love with my teacher for five years now. And it IS very difficult for me to get over him. I tried to keep my distance many, many times, but like I said, my feelings for him got in the way.
If you avoid him, you might end up forgetting all about him and date a boy your own age. It will save you a lot of heartbreak.
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