A
female
age
36-40,
*harliesdevil73
writes:When my boyfriend and I first got together, he said he didn't think he would ever get married. A while into the relationship, we talked about it as a possible option for us. Well, we got engaged July 9th. I was the one who asked and he said yes. It was romantic, he cried a little and so did I. We recently got into a huge argument and he said he has changed so many things about himself for me. One of them was marriage. He said, "I didn't want to get married, and then you asked me". Later that night I told him that those words really hurt me. He said "Look at it from my perspective. Either I marry you and keep you, or say no and lose you. I will do it to keep you". So I told him I didn't want to get married, I wouldn't leave him either. He got really upset and we ended up talking more about it. He said he chose his words wrong. He does want to marry me, he just though we would be further along than we are. Further along financially and in our relationship. (We have been together for 1 1/2 years). We decided to wait for a while to get married. Now, I am wondering, does he even want to marry me or is he just doing it for me? I will not make him marry me.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 Congratulations again honeypie...you've got two things going for you in this marriage. Your both in love and your both able to think about things, get advice and change your mind if you are wrong..
I see tons of happiness coming at you both, your love is important enough for you both, to try to make it strong..
lol.. you'll have a fun story to tell your grandkids, your a brave and strong lady, and your husband-to-be must be so happy that he'll be able to be with you forever....
Have fun, health and happiness, for all your lives and beyond. Blessings.
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (8 September 2010):
charliesdevil73 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you to the two of you that responded. Both of your answers helped and made look at it from a different perspective.
We did talk about it again recently, and he decided that he didn't want to wait to get married. He apologized again for his words and told me that I am the light of his life and he can't imagine his life without me.
Miamine, you're last comments were what made me stop and truly think about my feelings on the subject. He is very good to me and because of that, I think you are right. I've bagged myself a guy who loves me too much to say no :)
Thank you again to the both of you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Ha men sure don't think before they say, too late when it's out because the damage is done. First off kudos to you for asking, I could've never done it and were brought up in a society that the man will ask you when he's ready. According to Carrie Bradshaw, we could be waiting 10 years. And remember that episode where Miranda asked Steve? Positive signs I noticed were he cried, said yes, and he has been thinking about it all along! One and half years is early but hell I married my husband in May and Oct 31 2009 is when we met. So you can't put a timeline on love..it happens when it's meant to happen. To answer your question is yes, he wants to marry you now enjoy the engaged bliss and start that hunt for the perfect wedding dress. (it's a nightmare)
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (30 August 2010):
Damn girl, grab that wedding ring.. this is silly. He didn't want to get married, many men don't. But you asked, he thought about it... He loves marriage now because it's either that or loose you. He's bending over backwards. If it will make you happy and it's what you want, he will do this, with a smile on his face, and tears of joy in his eyes.
Men don't want marriage, untill the wedding day, and then they just do fine, and actually get more happy and emotional than you. Then as the get the benefits of marriage, a happy wife, a home, stability, a loving bed partner, a family, and a woman who will stand beside them in life.. well, then they get to thinking, marriage aint that bad... They also sure hate divorce and would hate to return to their single life.
Ok, so it's not like the movies, you asked him.. But hell girl he said yes. Should men feel bad that most women don't ask them, should men feel that they force women into marriage when they propose.
Nope, 21st century baby, it's fair that we do what the men have always done. We can ask first and we shouldn't feel bad or like we are forcing the man who loves us to stand up and tell the whole world that he wants to be with us forever.
Now stop the arguing and fighting, that's not good. You love him and he loves you, that's the only thing on earth that matters right now. Always put your love first, and your anger, upset, embarrassment and worries.. put them into the dustbin, because they never make us smile. Dosen't matter who is wrong or right... your together and in love, now go kiss and make up and play nicely.
Oh yea... congratulations to you both.. hahahaha.. you've gone and bagged yourself a guy who loves you too much to say No... hahahaha... I love it.
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