A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been friends with this guy for over a year at first he seen me as a potential but when we met things changed I wasnt his cup of tea as they say it. Put me in insecure zone where I wanted to live on his expectations. I realised that I had feelings for him and because we had a good friendship otherwise, I wasnt gonna let them get in the way. We split for months he came back and said he misses me anyway since then he has been still acting like his my man and he brought me a sentimental present from holiday recently engraved name. These little gestures I am totally comfortable with we are friends right? but its the way he talks trying to make me jealous wanting a reaction then sometimes giving me cold shoulder. Constantly finding ways to get me to just get angry I have gut feeling he does feel something, how do i get his reaction?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): He doesn't feel anything OP, nothing at all. It's been a year since he said that, has he even once tried to make a move? In a year? No he hasn't so nothing has changed.
OP part of me thinks this is all in your head. I say that because I know what it's like to try and be friends with someone you like a lot, it's tough as fuck because you see signs that aren't there. Especially if that person is affectionate like me. I treat my female friends like queens, I'd do anything for them because they're my friends. He tells you about this great girl he met and you think he's trying to make you jealous, he gets you a thoughtful gift then you see that as a sign that he cares, and well "maybe cares as much as I do". These could be things you're reading wrongly into.
You know what I'm getting at? Maybe it's that OP, maybe this is you getting confused and fucked over by your own feelings and hopes.
I see nothing to suggest his feelings have changed, nothing in what you describe says anything other him being a friend to you. He thought you had potential until he met you then completely got rid of that idea.
I think you're putting yourself in this position OP, I think you're the one trying to fit into his expectations and not anything he's intentionally doing. I think you didn't believe he truly meant what he said and you're still living in hope.
You need to clear the air and just talk to him OP. You can't be scared of him telling you his feelings haven't changed, because frankly if you're getting angry and jealous then that's only going to get worse and you just won't stay friends for long anyway, you can't live like that. It's a simple matter of bringing up that conversation you had a year ago about tea and asking him if that's changed, you can say the reason you ask is because he's being more affectionate and stuff and that's made you wonder.
He'll tell you what the deal is OP. But understand this is very unlikely to go in a way you hope it will. It's not his fault you've spent the past year pretending to be his friend while pining for him. You liked him from the start, even when he told you very clearly you weren't for him you refused to give up hope and here you are still pretending to be his friend while hoping for more, be prepared to walk away from this "friendship" OP, it was never going to be enough for you anyway because you want him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 March 2013):
 Am I right in guessing that you two met online and became "friends" and when you met in person he didn't feel the "spark" or see you as GF material?
If that is the case, no matter HOW much you bend over backwards TRYING to be HIS MS. Perfect, it's NOT going to happen.
If you can REMAIN friends it might work out (as a friendship) but here is the problem. HE sees YOU as a friend, someone to stroke his EGO and YOU see him as MORE then a friend. Which mean you will constantly give and he will constantly take. The reason he is trying to make you jealous is because he KNOWS you have feeling for him and he LIKES feeling wanted even if he doesn't reciprocate. He is basically stringing you along.
I would take a break and sort out how you really feel. He won't all of a sudden start to like you in the way you like him.
Honestly (and I know you might not wanna hear this) you are wasting your time on this one. You are NOT his friend, he is NOT yours either. Friends don't treat friends the way he treats you.
I'd cut him lose.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (25 March 2013):
 I think the only real way is to ask him how he feels. We all try and read other people's mind and second guess what they will do but in reality noone knows what he is thinking but him. From the way your relationship with him sounds he should understand why you would need to know how he feels.
Ask him! You'll only wonder otherwise...
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