A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello CupidI need advice about a girl who is being really clingy to me and she even said : she is attached to me loads! well, I am not interested in her more than just friends!lately she has started flirting and I have been ignoring it! Now she is even flirting on texts and I reply causally without flirting!what to do to keep her friend and not hurt her??
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 March 2013):
 If she has said she is attached and she is trying to move it forward as more than friends you must bite the bullet and talk to her about it and let her know in no way are you interested in her as anything other than casual friends.
It will hurt her. She will be embarrassed but there is not much else you can do… to say NOTHING is to give her hope.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2013): Hi. I really think you should confront her on this. If she has feelings for you, she may say no. But it's important to notice how she says no. If she says no in an emotional (sad or angry) way, she likes you. But if she just gets creeped out, she doesn't like you. If she admits to liking you, you have your answer clearly. So, after confronting her, and if she gives the slightest hint of her liking you, just finish the friendship. But if she doesn't, you can go on to be great friends. Don't just end the friendship based on your feelings and doubts. Sometimes you really need to work things out. You can't avoid this. If you do, you'll lose a good friend. Once I was in the same situation, but I confronted the person. And things really worked out between us. And don't worry about her getting embarrassed, cause if she wants to be only a friend, she won't be embarrassed. She'll take it coolly,because she'll understand. Give it a try. And tell us how it works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): There is no way of not hurting her if she actually has a crush on you. Literally no way at all but you can minimize that by making it clear you're only interested in friendship and the sooner the better OP. Honestly don't do it in a roundabout way either OP, when it comes to crushes you need to remove all hope or she'll just cling onto any little bit that's left.
OP if she's crushing on you then the friendship is not even real in the first place, you can't be friends aieht a crush as well you know because it hurts too damn much. In these circumstances if she really is crushing then you need to consider what's best for her and not just that you don't want to lose a friend. OP there is nothing worse than trying to remain friends with a crush, you can see their heart slowly breaking bit by bit, you see their mood change into one of sadness if you even mention another girls name or any hint that you like someone else.
Hopefully though this is just a case of her feeling comfortable enough around you to be flirty and she's just a natural flirt. If when you talk to her to find out what the story is she says she only thinks of you as a friend, then awesome, you can flirt freely and have her as your affectionate cuddle buddy. But be prepared to set her free if she has a crush OP, better to lose a friend than to hurt them in a long slow crush.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2013):
 I am not sure it's possible to keep her as a friend because she has ALREADY crossed that line and decided that she can "convince" you that she can be more.
Have you TOLD her in no roundabout way, that you ONLY like her as a friend? Because you NEED to nip this in the bud and possibly accept that you no longer have HER as your friend.
When you keep talking to her, texting she sees it as interest. Even if you don't flirt back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): Well I am actually going through this myself, but I am not as clingy with my boymate. But I do care about him a great deal. The thing you need to do if you want her as a friend establish that you are friends and nothing more. If needs be she is going to get hurt a little but you will still have that friendship, rather than her living in that hope that one day you may like her more.
Goodluck!!
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (25 March 2013):
 Whatever way you let her down will hurt her feeling unfortunately because us women are sensitive people! It is good to hear to care about her feelings though and still want to be friends. This makes me think you must be a nice decent person so she will understand. You need to have a talk to her and tell her you think she is a lovely person you just don't feel that way about her. She will be upset for a bit then will get over it. Best done sooner rather than later though!
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