A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I REAALLY NEED HELP!I was dating this guy after i broke up with my boy friend...actually; he was the reason why I did break up...It was at a stage when my rel'ship with my ex was almost dead and i met him.At that point of time i was totally smitten by him..he was funny, cute, he made me happy, we shared a great chemistry...a few weeks into it and i told him that i loved him...That time...he didn't say "i love you too"...Plus, he never had time for me and he wasn't that into me ...so i didn't speak to him for a few months.Anyhow...this person met me a month ago and we took off where we had left...i'd broken up with my ex...and i was lonely.We made out a couple of times...infact most of the times that we were together we were just snogging or getting frisky...And then he'd say that he loves me...but this time; for some reason i could not believe him. Whether it was due to the fact that he'd rejected me before or due to the fact that i'd just broken up...i could not trust him...i don't know why.And as usual, he doesn't have time...i mean a day goes by and sometimes i don't even get an sms from him! what is that supposed to mean? Is that normal . . . or is it too much to expect some form of contact throughout the day.HE says the main reason i don't love him is because i can't trust him.The point is...there are a few things about him which are not trustworthy - he keeps on talkin abt the other girls he has been with...or the fact that he drinks a LOT...every other day he's hung over...i don't like that! Plus...he once told me that he'd tried out weed and when i scolded him he justified it by saying that one should try everything in life once...i mean...there's something which just puts me off...and he smokes a lot too...sigh...my father nearly died coz of smoking...i can't bear it.I;m not a conservative person...but there are somethings i don't like at all.And now...he said he's fed up of waiting for me...he left me...I felt really bad...I don't know what to do.
View related questions:
broke up, my ex, smokes Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Sometimes life can full of "if only(s)" : - (
Again, I am so sorry.....best thing is to grieve awhile, be angry, let yourself feel whatever you are experiencing - but know its not the end of the world - even if it seems as if it is right now!
Time will pass and the pain and hurt will gradually fade (hopefully faster than you think). Eventually you'll meet a man much more compatible and will wonder what you ever saw in this one........
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe point is...he kept on pressing me for an answer...even i feel that i can't get into a relationship this soon...
I told him i need time...
He obviously didn't want to give me time...
ITs just too complicated and now he's not even talking to me...guess its really over.
Point is, i think we could have had something special had i met him under different circumstances.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (31 January 2011):
You and he are obviously not a good match.
For one thing, he was a rebound for you. It really is better when you break up with someone to take at least a couple months off from dating anybody before you jump in the pool again. You need to think about what went wrong and what you really want in a new person.
Drinking and smoking a lot are not compatible with your values, and are definitely a big red flag. Not only that, but you say he's not really that interested in you.
One more thing: unless you've been dating someone a fair amount of time and are in a committed relationship, its unrealistic to be expecting to get a text, email, IM from a guy every day......I mean, you have your life to live, and he has a life of his own. You can't be together 24/7 - and even if you could, it would not be emotionally healthy. Being in touch once or twice a week - particularly in a new friendship - is more realistic.
Don't feel bad - he's actually doing you a favor by disappearing!
...............................
|
