A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I dated this girl who I was very controlling over. I sincerely regret it, but I think I've ruined any chance I have with her. I can't stop thinking about her. (This may sound weird or creepy, but I don't mean it to be, I swear) I was on this porn site and I saw a girl who looked similar to her and it just killed me. Now she's running around with her friends, not telling me before she goes and hangs out with them even though we still talk on a daily basis. She's the only girl I ever dated who I truly feel like I can be friends with and I think that's special. I want to fix my manipulative ways. The problem is she lives an hour away (which contributed to our break up) and when we do get to hang out we never talk about these things. I've been trying to hang out with other people, even tried just cutting her out but I missed her too much. I'm sick of feeling this way.Help? Anything?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2011): alright dude.
first off you probably don't want to tell her that you remembered how much you loved her because of porn.... and if you really think you can be controlling over what she does and who she sees, then you need to stop looking at porn if you get back together with her cuz if she was looking at other guys dicks and fingering herself to them wouldn't that make your controlling vibes go off and you'd flip out on her?
think of why you were so controlling. normally, guys aren't really controlling unless something provokes them to. a guy i'm trying to work it out with now used to be incredibly controlling but now he's in therapy.
maybe you should try seeing a therapist. don't act like you don't need one because " not telling me before she goes and hangs out with them even though we still talk on a daily basis." shows that you still crave a level of control over her. and it's great that you want to change your manipulative ways! but sadly, it's hard to do it alone. i suggest seeing a therapist. it doesn't mean youre crazy, it just helps you to balance out the issues in your life.
i'm sorry i'm kinda bitter but i was in your girlfriends place up until a few months ago. being controlled feels awful and you're gonna have to earn your trust with her again.
but if your really care about her, do it.
"She's the only girl I ever dated who I truly feel like I can be friends with and I think that's special." that is special. those kinds of girls are the best.
A
female
reader, Pretty2K12Lady +, writes (29 July 2011):
 you have to tell her how you feel man...you can't keep holding in it otherwise you will snap sooner or later...If you sincerly sorry for what happen and you really want her back, then you would prove to her JUST that...stop thinking you can control someone...you will never be happy...you see how you is now...let those ways go dude..you will sleep much better at night...and she will to not worrying about a controlling relationship...maybe youre too late or maybe you have another chance...depending on her really...so...think about it like this...how would you feel if someone controlled your mama or your grandma or your sister like you controlled your girlfriend...would you be cool with that?..(say no)....if you think that's cool then let that girl live her life and dont mess up no more girls life...we can only take so much so...when faced with a situation similar to this one...think about how would you feel if it happened to your loved one...better yet: YOURSELF! have a heart since you love her so much...
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A
female
reader, tiffanylovepandas +, writes (29 July 2011):
 It's hard getting over an ex and the first relationship is always the hardest to get over. Distance is never a reason for a stop into a relationship if 2 people really love each other. You should really try talking to her face to face when you two do hang out. If not, maybe it is time to go your separate ways and move on. Ask her to give you another chance and tell her that you will try to fix your manipulative ways and make sure you actually do. Give her space also. Good luck!
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