A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyoneI have recently left my b/f of 4 yrs. He kept writing sexual messages to other women and he did eventually cheat on me.It has been 2 months now and I am holding up. But I just found out my friend has a bf now. She is in ontario 4 school but was coming bck home for the summer. It was going to be me and her as single ladies making it. I know I should be happy that she got a bf but she was holding me together her and I were confiding in each other and now its differentI feel even more alone. I dont have many friends. I dont know how to be strong after I finally got the strengh to leave. Everyone has someone its depressing because I wish my ex didnt hurt me so much that I cant go back. I lost everything but part of myself.What do I do? I have my moments where i wish I still have him.
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female
reader, Si Si  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 Dear Girl, you say there are moments where "you wish you still have him" What exactly did you have? You were with someone who was cheating on you right?Is that really a person you want in your life? If you had stayed, you would no doubt have had a lot more of the same.You would have been constantly hurt betrayed, and undermined..
Yes, it will take a little time to adjust.You haven`t given yourself nearly enough. And I can certainly see that your girlfriend would have been a strong ally in your time of need,but you are on the right track.
You are a brave and courageous girl,and have made a wise decision. Just give yourself a little more time for your emotions to heal.All you need at the moment is a way to express yourself,to be heard. Ending a relationship can be a little like the death of a loved one or a friend. You need to go through three stages, which are usually denial,anger, and finally acceptance and a willingness to move forward."Talking out" your relationship is a part of that process,perfectly normal and actually needed. So,can you find an alternative way to "Talk out" your relationship?Is there someone in your vicinity who can just listen for a little while? That is all that`s needed.Once you get through that process you are on your way!
I do hope this has helped, and I have no doubt you have the strength and courage to go forward to a happpier,trusting,and more fulfilling relationship. It`s out there patiently waiting till you are ready.
I wish you happiness and contentment.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 April 2010):
The best decision you made was to leave him. So under no circumstances go back. As your friend now has a boyfriend, you must look at this as an opportunity to get out there and meet new people. Of course you want someone to be there for you. But your ex was a cheat, so he's not worth it. What you can do is try to meet new people, either through a new hobby or through a class or something. The worst thing you can do now is sit there thinking about what might have been with your ex, because that will achieve nothing at all.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Poor you I am in a similar state but I am 58 so by comparison you have 100% chances of new relationships I have about 10% on a good day and there has not been many of them in the last year.
I know to an extent how sad and tearful we become at times like this and it is so easy to think back at what you had it seemed good. Except he was a first class shit as I reecall!
I want you to change your hair style and make somne minor changes in what you wear. To an extent let us have a new and different you as that will in a small way focus your mind elsewhere. Look out a couple of local activities that you would or might never of thought of, go and do volutary work with young or old, join a drama group, go cycling, try and join a group or team type activity,
Lastly let go of him he has gone, be please he has a relationship because Miss he was not worthy of you from the outset, besides you have thousands of friends here alone. Wipe your eyes apply some lippy and get out there and lastly (don't he go on) No! we do not all have someone we must wait our turn and yours will be around soon, trust me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): This is very normal in everyday life when you see others have someone to hold, you would normally feel alone and wish that you have strong feelings for a certain someone so you wouldn't feel this lonely.Which always lead to thinking about your previous ex and wishing things were different but you need to come back to reality because you left him for a reason and if you do give him a chance again, you'll be more unhappy then you are now. It does look depressing now your friend has someone and you don't but soon you'll find someone that isn't a cheater then you will realize its worth the wait.
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