A
male
age
41-50,
*ephiroth
writes:Last year I found out on my bf's computer that he was looking at porn... but also he was looking at pictures of 11-15 year old boys.. It broke my heart when I found this. I confronted him about this and the fight ended up as me being the bad guy because I was the one who didn't trusted him and because I didn't respected his privacy. At the end of this awful argument he promised me that he wasn't never gonna do that again. I believed him that he wasn't never going to do that and whenever he used his computer he deleted the history folder. However, I found a way to look beyond the history folder and found out that he was still looking at that kind of porn again. Not just that but there was the date and time when he accessed it and same website. I haven't told him about it cuz I hate getting into arguments, I'm not a fighter. Its been almost 10 months and I found a way to get into his email address and I found out that that same day he ordered a DVD called Chippendiddys (Chippendales but instead of men Chippendiddys has little boys) from amazon.com. Two days later he called me at the house to let me know that he was gonna get some boxes with some equipment and also a book from amazon.com.... THAT'S A LIE!!! I know that its not a book for work, its that damn DVD!! He lied to me again... I just dont know what to do anymore, I really love him but i'm being destroyed little by little by these things which really bother me a lot since I was sexually abused when I was a little boy (which he already knows about that).... Am I making this a huge deal? Am I overreacting? Should I let him do these things?? I know that if I tell him about this he is going to lie first and if I show him proof then he is going to tell him how I 'invaded his privacy' again and how I don't trust him. I mean I already feel bad doing these things to him all that snooping around on his computer and really.... I don't want to do this forever if I'm going to stay with him. Thank you sooooo much for your support!!! :)
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male
reader, sephiroth +, writes (28 April 2007):
sephiroth is verified as being by the original poster of the question I really love him. We've been together for 3 years! Actually on May its going to be our 3rd anniversary and he is the first person I lost my virginity to and he is my first boyfriend. It kinda sucks that this had to happen.... I love him yet I feel foolish if I stay with him.... You know? But thank you so much!!! You guys have been the closest thing to guardian angels.... :)
A
female
reader, NuttyGooner  +, writes (27 April 2007):
 Sweetie, being with a liar is the last thing anyone would want in a relationship. You have give him enough chances to sort this out, and he wouldn't give you that courtesy!
Knowing that he is looking at child pornography after how it affected you as a child shows he is an uncaring, possibly predatory individual, he is buying that sickening stuff, fuelling the market, he may feel he is not doing anything wrong buy not partaking in it, but he is creating that market, fuelling more child exploitation.
You know what you want to do in your heart, but I would report him to the police too, child pornography and exploitation needs to be stopped.
Good luck, hunny!
Nutty xxx
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A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (27 April 2007):
Hey there... I just read through the answers, and would like to say that Realm has given you the best answer, in that he has addressed a couple of points:
1. You shouldn't have been prying into this guy's privacy.
2. But given that you did, and you know about the child porn, you should see if you can get him to counseling. I may be fairly open-minded, but not when it comes to child porn. Children are NOT consenting adults.
If he doesn't go for counseling, it's best to be done with him. You don't want any part in that kind of behaviour. Children are a heritage of the Lord. Jesus said that it were better that a millstone be tied around a guy's neck, and have him thrown into the sea, then to have him abuse or take advantage of children. If there is a day of judgement coming, child abusers will take the lowest place in the pit.
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A
male
reader, sephiroth +, writes (27 April 2007):
sephiroth is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much!!! I still don't know how to talk to him about this... But I'm going to do it! This weekend I'll tell him again and remind him how he broke his promised that he made for me...... Alas, this might be the last weekend we spend together................ :(
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A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (26 April 2007):
 Dear Reader,
i think you should get out of there while you still have some dignity. if this guy is looking at child pornography even though he knows that you here sexually abused as a child then he really cannot care all that much about you, and just think when you confrunted him you never really got an answer for why he did this he just made you out to be the bad guy to get off the subject of this. i really think that you should leave and never turn back, or just call the police and get his dirty little porn watching arse thrown in jail.
good luck
lboy
xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2007): i think you know what you need to do. this relationship is over!!!
end of
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (8 April 2007):
 Child porn is wrong, no matter how it is looked at. If your BF can't admit he has an real issue that needs looking at then leave him where he is. If he loves you and is any kind of a man he will honour this fact and deal with his problems, coz it IS a problem. As for his privacy, i wouldn't worry too much about it. Something like this doesn't deserve privacy and anyway as people have stated this is illegal. If he was selling drugs in your home you would have a right to know about it. It is very insensitive for him to do this considering he knows about your past. If he dont change his ways you are better off without him. What if you want kids at some point? Are you going to be able to feel ok about that?
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (8 April 2007):
 Get out while you can away from this sick creep. You have every right to know what he gets up to especially if he has the intention to prey on young boys. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you honey, and if he was a decent guy, the last thing you want is to be with this guy who sounds extremely dangerous. And another thing is being involved with scum like him will only bring back those painful memories that obviously you have cos of what happened to you when you was a little boy. Find yourself a decent guy, and ditch this pondlife.
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