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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi.i am in a bit of a predicament.i have been with my fiance for almost 18months now and for the past few months, i have been sending "text sex" sms messages with someone else. We never actually physically touched, or saw each other during the time we were messaging. And my fiance found out!!I am relieved because i didnt want to lie to him anymore.it seemed like our intimacy has deteriorated ever since we got together, so i guess this was just for a bit of fun.We are still together, he said to me that everybody makes mistakes, and that he loves me more than anything else in the world, but it will take a while for me to build up his trust again.Now, i've told the other guy i was messaging that my partner found out, and that i dont think its fair if only i get in trouble, so he told his girlfriend as well.they have now broken up, and i feel really bad.i'm not particulary worried about the other couple, but could you please suggest something for me to try, so i can try and build up my fiance's trust again, i love him so much, and i know that i would never do anything like this ever again.please help me
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (7 July 2005):
You mentioned your intimacy 'deteriorated" with your ex.
I believe that is why you sought 'outside" excitement.
Be honest with your fiancee about your feelings.
Tell him you don't feel close to him like you used to.
Let him know that you want the passion re-kindled.
If he TRULY loves you, in time, he will be healed from your episode of sex texting another man...and will be delighted to explore & work on creating more passion with you.
If that does not occur...time will not change him.
All the best,
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (7 July 2005):
 I dont think there is actually anything you can do right now.. Only time can tell on things like this. It may take him a time to rebuild the trust so you need to make sure that he knows you will never do anything like this again draw a line under it and move on. It will take a while for things to get back to normal but the less you mention it the better it will be, you will need to let him deal with it and time is the only healer, in time things will be easier, let him know you will be there for him and you love him and things will slowly come good again. Hes taken the step to forgive you so your half way there the rest is up to you not to push him and to not do anything like it again.
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