A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Two months ago I met someone who treats me really well, says he loves me, is gentle and kind etc etc etc.He lives around 70 miles away and stays with me 2 nights a week whilst he is off work. I go to his flat 1 night a week when I can (I have a teenage daughter who lives with me).He says he is only happy because of me, and wants to move to my town (I presume in with me) as I have my own home with a mortgage.I am very scared though, as my last ex partner moved in with me, I sold up,(after having my own house with no mortgage) bought a house together, then he took all the equity and I had a struggle to get some money to start again. I know this new man isn't my ex - but the thought of having someone move in with me and potentially take everything from me again really really worries me.I don't want to end this relationship as I think the world of him, but I like what we have now. But I don't want to be on my own forever either.But I know 2 months isn't long to get to know someone either.My daughter is 16 yrs old and may not like someone moving in as she had to go through my last breakup and worry of getting somewhere to live again.I feel my last relationship has spoilt the trust I used to have and could have potentially ruined me ever wanting anyone live with me ever again.My ex mentally bullied me out of my home, by threatening to take fuses so i had no heat or lighting, changing locks, sending nasty texts, bringing his new g/f into my house and leaving things lying around of hers. Even blood on my sheets.He used to force me to sleep with him, even when I moved bedrooms.What do I do?How can I ever move on?
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bullied, money, move on, moved in, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Hello, No, too much of a risk for your daughter and equity. Also, Don't keep going for bullying men. You know the signs so kick them into touch! xx
A
female
reader, Mandy7777  +, writes (6 November 2008):
DON'T DO IT!! You've only known this guy two months!! You're already giving away the store by allowing him to stay at your house!! Plus, you have a 16 yr old daughter to consider....
HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO: DATE HIM...Don't sleep with him and don't stay at his house either....You are sending the clear cut message that he doesn't need to respect you...and a lack of respect is exactly what you are going to get if you continue like this....Trust your instincts - don't do it!! If he cares for you as much as he says he does, then he will pursue you!! You need to test HIM to see if he is worth it!! Test him to see if he's REAL....
Most importantly...what you are doing right now is setting a very bad example for your 16 yr old daughter....We parent BY EXAMPLE.....Your daughter should be the priority in your life...not some guy you've known for two months!! Your daughter needs to SEE that you have respect for yourself and that you will not compromise yourself in situations like this...She will COPY everything you do!! It is extremely important for both of you (you and your daughter) to stay on track and not let some outsider walk in and destroy your life.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): I am the OP - I lived on my own for a while then my recent ex partner moved in with me then when we moved my daughter moved in with me & my ex, as she previously lived with her dad (I think I must go for bullying men) and she didn't want to move from the area when he did.
I made a massive mistake with my recent ex and now I hate him so much. I trusted him and that was a stupid thing to do. I don't really know if i will ever trust a man again.
I feel guilty for not trusting this new man but I don't let him know i feel this way.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Slow down. I cant see why after 2 months you would even need to think about moving in with someone. Your poor 16 yr old. How quickly did you move in with the ex that ripped you off? Are you a bit scared of being single? Is that possibly why you jump into things without getting to know someone first?
If a guy is pressuring you to move in with him that quick after meeting them, thats where you're going wrong.
Its not normal, and its not sensible.
Whatever happened to courting these days.
I wouldn't have anyone move in with me in a hurry. I like it being just me and my kids and it would take someone special to have me let them move into our home after a year, that wouldn't be happening within 2 months thats for sure.
C xxxxx
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