A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay this is how it is:I was raped when I was 7, I'm now 12 and you see it's ruining my life because the thing is I have nightmares about that time all the time so I stay up all night... then I'm late for school and don't concentrate properly so then I get bad marks.Also I told my "best friend" what happened and when we had a argument she went and told her other mate who went and told another person blablabla and soon the whole class knew about what happened to me (and that was the worst day of my life) after being bullied for the whole of that year I'm not going up to year 8 and I still have very low self esteem because of that incident, kids that were in my middle school still remember it so a few kids in my class know now... my life is the most s**tiest life ever, please help me give me some advice on what to do as I have often had thoughts on ending it all please give me some suggestions on what to do as I'm in need of help thanx x
View related questions:
bullied, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, danielle rudolph  +, writes (23 December 2007):
 Sweetie, you need to get it out to somebody who is very trust worthy okay. Please take my advice.
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Hi babe, i was raped at 12 and didnt tell anyone until 15 which wasnt good because they still havent caught him which is the main cause of my distress, nightmares, i see him (but im not) even when i was at school.. u need to talk to someone.. honestly and if u know him it will be difficult to prove but please go to the police, to avoid it happenin 2 others.. he is completely in the wrong for doing this to you.. and i strongly advice you go to the police. And for your school pupils.. ignore them, they are so immature.. i have a go at anyone who makes fun of the word even if its just in small talk.. i understand where you are comin frm about not wantin 2 go to the police but, just think it will help others too.. hope i helped, and please do mail me x x x x
...............................
A
female
reader, Sassy7613 +, writes (13 August 2007):
I was raped when I was 16 and I carried around guilt for a long time because I never told anyone, always thought it was my fault, was embarassed, all sorts of things...Finally at the age of 28 I told my boyfriend that I know loves me, doesn't judge me, and wants to still beat the guys ass...I say this to tell you first and foremost if you haven't talked about it to someone that is older and can help you through this horrible experience, you need to...I never felt better than when I knew that someone that I completely love and trust would help me carry this experience and get over it. He knew what I went through and that made all the difference. I've now been talking to a therapist for quite awhile now and I feel much better not only about myself but life in general...This was not your fault...it's the scumbag who did it.I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this while you are in school...that has to be even harder with as mean as kids can be...but it's not worth ending your life over...use this awful experience to make you a stronger person. You have a lot of people who care about you and I am one of them...use the bad to make good! I know you want help because you're asking for it...now all you need to do is apply the things that will make you a better person for going through such a horrible experience...stay strong!
...............................
A
male
reader, Chippy334 +, writes (13 August 2007):
 ok you need to think about this. is it worth ending your life? you're 12 you still have a long life ahead of you. if you're not already doing this seek out a therapoist. NEVER trust your mates. they will tell the world. You should be your own person and not let this ruin and run your life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007): Dear you! you must not end yourself, What you must think is now that you know that, you must find ways to shelf it behind you and make sure that it never happens to you again, put it behind you.But first you must let go of blame, because it was not your fault.You need to get out and find someone that can help you and listen to you.And try not to bring up your bad experience of the past when people are around you.Your young and you have a whole life ahead of you.Stay clear of drink and drugs and try to read nice books and who you would like to be and how much money you would like to make in the future for yourself.Plan now, and stop thinking of the past, leave that behind.grow stronger from this, and don't ever let yourself get raped again.Just ignore those who are small, and stand tall.
...............................
A
female
reader, bee-ess-2007 +, writes (11 August 2007):
 Listen girl, all these people who call you names and slag you off, they dont understand, they arent mature enough.So move on from them. Talk to someone but make it, someone you really trust. Someone close to you. Honestly letting everything thats jammed into your head out, feels great and you have the right too.Some suggestions I got.Talk to a gp or therapist person or w/e you call it these daysWrite in a diary ever 3 days or so and let your emotions out and run wild. Write about whats hurting more and whats good in your lifeAnd you should write down the good things about you everydayand improve yourself, if your self-conscience.And become better than all the little immature peopleWork on something like a project about something - bullying.. write a story about your life- I'm 12 too. I'm very emotional and I get bullied [and I have done so much wrong and some, much that I regret and want to change. I've not been outside since primary school. Well, outside to hang out only in my back yard and outside in my front green and up the street to go shopping with Mom but never outside to hang out with someone.But I've written 2 storys. An improved short book and an article on life and ive only just realised, that coming 13 this month that life's too short to remember all the mistakes, and to be shy and to hide away from the pain of seeing yourself and the filth of what happened 5 or so years ago. Darling, you have done nothing wrong... this was not your fault you have nothing to hideSo dont hide in shame because there shouldnt be any shame there. So please be prouud of yourself and what you are right now Because your a great person and youu deserve the best.Forget the past, the bad memories but keep the good part of the past in your heart and moving on from your past sould be at the top of the good list =]]
...............................
A
female
reader, dont_worry +, writes (11 August 2007):
 first of all, you have to try to learn, to love yourself.you have to accept yourself so others can.i cant imagine your pain or your nightmaresit must be terrible.but there are things in life, fears that you have to get through.i know its hard, but you are not alone.try by looking at the mirror and see how beautiful you are.dont feel sad or depressed try to enjoy life for the first time.you are very young to feel that sad.dont make that awful moment ruin your life.have faith annd fun.start to laugh, to smile, to plaay, to love.good luck (:
...............................
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Well I know what you are going through. I was raped when I was 15 and by someone I trusted, my doctor.
For many many years I suffered the same symptoms. Nightmares, cold sweats, lack of concentration due to lack of sleep, upset tummy and many others, too many to choose from.
However, we went to court and he was convicted of a number of attacks on patients, all of about my age. I made sure that that man would never do that to anyone ever again. It made me feel better about the situation but it will never make things right. He can be punished and it will give you satisfaction knowing that he cant do it to any other child, but you need to deal with the psychological issues afterwards.
If you havent told anyone, I cant stress strongly enough how important it is for you to go and tell someone. Tell your mum or a teacher that you trust. I also know that trust will be a major issue for you, but you have to start somewhere. My parents were wonderful when it happened. They were there for me when I needed to speak to someone but I like you kept it all bottled up.
It affected all my relationships because I was so scared to let someone touch me. Let alone kiss me. But you have to let someone into your heart, someone like your mum or someone close to you. They will deal with one element of this case, trying to put the person who did this into a place where he cant hurt you again!
One thing that I always felt was that it was my fault. That I perhaps said something or did something to make him feel as if it was okay, and there is NOTHING that you could have said or done to make him think it was okay, so dont you EVER think it was your fault!!!
You also need to get into councilling very quickly. You are now at an age where if you dont go into counciling it could affect the rest of your life, and there is so much that can be done to prevent that! Most schools also have councilors so if you have a school councilor and you trust them, go and speak to them. They will have the powers to get you the help you need.
I dont know where in the UK you are, but if you are ever feeling down, dont hesitate to get in touch! I know exactly how you feel! I'm 32 now, and it happened almost 17 years ago, but I remember it as if it were yesterday. But it makes me strong knowing that I put him where he belongs and that I didnt do anything to deserve this!
...............................
A
female
reader, missconfused +, writes (10 August 2007):
 wow thats harsh
first of all tell someone tell an adult that can help go to the police if you havent already ... and dont do something stupid remember that once your dead theres no turning back and dont be a coward and end your life fight for it
tell your teachers at school and trust me they will understand and make all of the kids be quit
and you should be ashamed it was somethin out of your hands
school is one of the hardest things to deal with but dont let them win and call victory over you stand up to them and they'll be more respectfull towards you
k take care and dont let others get to you
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2007): hi honey, i know how your feeling right now i was first raped when i was 8 and it went on for years before i had the courage to speak out.
I used to have really bad nightmares aswell,i ended up going to my GP and he refered me to a counseller it was frightening but it helped so much to talk to someone. Try talking to your GP or someone who you trust in school, teacher, head of year, any adult. They should be offering you more support than they are especially with the bullying. You've already shown how strong you are by getting this far and posting a question, dont let this ruin your life, use it in your darkest hour to remember how far you've already come.
I'm 20 now,engaged to someone i trust with all of me and training to be a nurse. There is light at the end of the tunnel. All my love too you x
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Have you ever told an adult about what happened to you, as there is help out there for people that have been through this sort of thing.
This is not something you should be dealing with on your own especially when it's putting thoughts of ending it all in your head.
Babe you have done nothing wrong and it is nothing to be ashamed about so i really think if you have not done so already you should confide in an adult you trust wether it is someone in your family or someone at school.
Take care.x.x
...............................
|
