A
female
age
36-40,
*mpty and broken
writes:i would like to know if i am a magnet for being raped. i was raped when i was 12 years old by two men who were good friends of my family, especially my father. when i told my stepmother what happened, she adviced me not to tell anybody, then she went and told my parents, my mom verbally abused me, and my father beat me to a state of almost unconciousness. no one believed me, no one cared, i was taken to the rape unit two weeks later, my mom did not want to press charges. i was torn inside and out. now i am getting married in 3 months and almost 12 years later i am raped again by my best friend, or at least i thought he was. i don't know if i should tell my fiance, i don't know who to tell. i am scared, lonely, i feel used, abused, unloved, dirty, helpless and hopeless. so please tell me how i'm going to get over this. i have been trying to get over the first one, which sometimes seems like a uphill battle and then this happened. i am frustrated, stressed out, i can't function, i can't think straight. i have been crying all night, all day. i am at work physically, but i am still not at work. i need help, please somebody tell me how to deal with this, i might be pregnant or have an std i don't know, i want to run and never stop running. help!!!!!!!!!!
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at work, be pregnant, best friend, fiance, might be pregnant, std, unloved Reply to this Question
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female
reader, loveisconfusing  +, writes (15 March 2009):
You call the police on your so called "Friend". I was raped when i was 10 years old by my moms boyfriends brother and no one believe me at first either. But i told my grandparents and they called the police. Let me tell you you will feel so much relieve after you put his ass in prison. I know that if i never would have told my grandparents and if they never would of called the police that i probably wouldnt be able to live with myself today
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): Hello, I am sorry to hear what you have been going through. I am struggling with similar problems to yourself. I have PTSD after having been abused by my mother, raped when I was 10 and again when I was 18. I feel like there must be something wrong with me to make these people treat me like this, but it wasn't your fault, so maybe it wasn't my fault either. I often wonder if I have a sign above my head attracting people who are going to hurt me. Your family behaved badly, but again I can relate to this. I think it depends how understanding you think your boyfriend is going to be. What ever you do you need to get checked out for STDs because even if you don't tell him you might be exposing him to the risk of getting an STD. Do you think he has noticed any change in you? If he has and you think he is a gentle and caring man then maybe he would understand and help you go through the process of being tested for STDs. I hope your situation improves soon. x
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A
male
reader, Sensor  +, writes (5 March 2009):
Hi sweetie, take heart and don't dispair but take it as a lesson that the close friends around you can turn to be your worst enemies of your life by just a single act!
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A
female
reader, empty and broken +, writes (26 February 2009):
empty and broken is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks so much to all of you that reponded and gave such good advice. i went to the hospital and i do not have any sti's and well its too soon to tell if i am pregnant, (only 5 dyas). i am happy i made that post
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (23 February 2009):
You are not at fault in anyway. It was not your fault that these awful things have happened to you. It was the fault of the abusers and they are completely responsible. You are not a magnet for rape. You did not provoke this in anyway, shape or form. These men that have done this have serious issues and are sick mentally. NOT YOU.. and you should get counseling to help you deal with the sadness and stress it is causing you. there are people who understand and will want to help you through this to become a happier person. YOu can be happy again. You can trust again. You just need some professional help and some time to work this through. Again, this was not in any way your fault.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): No my friend, you did nothing to deserve any of this.Their are a lot of rapists in the world becasue the law lets alot of them get away with it, and by women not coming forward to prositicute.The man who broke into my house 12 years ago and raped me, i took to court and put him behind bars for 9 years. Thia stopped a serial rapist from other ohter women during this time.you have been let down by everyone. you need to find your fighting spirit, the survivour in you who got you though.your still alive ,your meant to be here, my heart is with you.im am here. you need to get the main things sorted first. std tests can take up to 3months to show up in the body, mine came back negative.you need to do a prgencey test a.s.ap.you need to focus on what needs to be done now to get you though. you need support.dont walk alone. phone rape crisis number and talk. talk and keep talking.rape happens because their are rapists in the world, not victims. you will get through,this time you should have your future husband by your side to help you.you have done nothing wrong,the only shame lies with the people who have hurt you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Sorry I don't seem to be able post that link, so I'll post the list of contact numbers for you.
Bureau of womens affairs
* The Crisis Centre 929-2997 or 929-9038
* Women’s Media Watch 926-0882
* The Centre for Investigation of Sexual Offences and Child Abuse (formerly Rape Investigative Unit) 926-7318
* Jamaica Household Workers Association 754-4049
* Women’s Resource and Outreach Centre 929-8873
* The Victim Support Programme
* National Family Planning Board 968-1629-36
* Women’s Centre of Jamaica Foundation 929-7608, 929-0977
* The Children’s Services Division 967-1092-96-7, 976-1100-7
* The Jamaica Cancer Society 927-4265/4933
Contact Us
4 Ellesmere Road
Kingston, 10
Phone: 754-8575-8
Fax: 929-0549
Email: [email address blocked]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): http://www.jis.gov.jm/Bureau of Womens Affairs/index.asp
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): HI what has happened to you is horrible and inexcusable, I think you need to talk some professionals, here is a Jamaican government website with a list of phone numbers for various agencies that will be able to help you.
http://www.jis.gov.jm/Bureau%20of%20Womens%20Affairs/index.asp
Before you tell anyone seek their advice, I don't know much about Jamaica and neither do most of the people that post on this site, so we are not the best to judge what is appropriate for your situation. The only thing can say is stay strong, you are not alone and with help from these agencies you can pull through this good luck!
Contact them as soon as possible.
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