A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi yet again! If you've been following my story you might remember my husband who was for several months flirty texting a work colleague 20 years younger and saying they loved each other etc. although a text I luckily saw from her confirms it was not physical. Apart from all the other issues of coming to terms (and thanks for all the advice which helped immensely) my next hurdle was the fact that they would both be attending their works committee annual dinner in March. Although I am 100% sure nothing is going on now and it's all above board and just work related I begged him a while ago not to go as the thought of being at the same function as her would upset me. At first he agreed but some time later said I could not dictate his work situation and he was going. Now he has said he has decided not to go which would mean not being able to take his other regular guests but I (feeling guilty) said I would now rather him go as I do completely trust him and I don't want repercussions for stopping him going. I read an email off her to him and a few other committee members (so it wasn't actually personal) asking if he's attending as she's in charge of numbers and seating plans so this was in the course of work (he doesn't know I can access his emails). He replied 'Unfortunately I am unable to attend as I have another function I can't get out of'. She replied 'No worries, thanks for your prompt reply'. I obviously can't tell him I've read them but now my problems are 1) Why does he feel he has to give her any sort of explanation albeit a lie 2) Why has he got to pretend it's because of another function? Is this to avoid telling her that wifey would be too upset or what? Also I am the one now feeling bad as I feel I've spoilt his evening so it's a no win situation. Either he will feel bad on me if he goes or I will feel bad on him for stopping him going. At the moment it's going to be me feeling bad and him being the dutiful husband but on the other hand don't you think this is fair enough after the heartache, betrayal and emotional cheating he's put me through. PS he's not moaning at all but I now feel bad that he's volunteered not to go!! Thanks for reading x
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male
reader, Kepi +, writes (23 February 2009):
 I can understand your feelings on this, but he has shown his commitment to you by not going to the function. The fact that he has said it is due to another commitment that he cannot get out of is standard practice, at least then if people ask the reply will be that he has prior commitments that he cannot drop....it also works in his favour at work in that he shows that he is the sort of person not to drop other engagements (albeit fictional)Don't feel bad about it, be pleased that he has chosen you over work and the other woman, to make it up to him do something special, then maybe you can both enjoy your night together and it will help with the healing process.
A
female
reader, Krissypro89  +, writes (23 February 2009):
I am sorry to say but the first sentence you wrote really got me. They were texting each other. Another woman in your relationship is just a no no for me no matter what.
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