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female
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anonymous
writes: i am very nearly 14 years old and am very confused. i have a great boyfriend who i love very, very much and have been with him for 5 months.he is 2 years older than me. when i was in year 5 so about 9-10 yrs old, my mate was dating an older guy that was 14 and she was 11. i always knew he was a jackass by da ways that he treated her...anyway, one day i was walking home frm skwl n he caught up with me, saying he wanted to show me his 'tree house' me being naive followed him into the woods. he beat me and climbed on top leaving me half unconsious. my cousin thankfully came and saw then chased him away, soon after, he moved to south africa with his family, i have'nt spoken to him since. i didnt tell ANYONE about this until i started dating my bf...lets call him, Rob. rob is very respectful and everything...never fourced me into anything...but everytime i close my eyes or try and get intamate with him, i just keep repeating the thing that happened in yr 5. and i feel completly stupid and babyish cos i get upset and so, rob gets upset because i cant b intamate n he thinks that its him. i have told him all of this and he says that he understands and that i shudnt worry. he says that he is not like that.despite all this...after about 4 months we had gone pretty far....to 3rd base...i have all these weird feelings now, because i feel like i want to just do as much as i can with rob because i know he loves me and if i do those intamte things with him, then i cant say that my first time doing anything was 'stolen' from me...is that perfetic...am i being stupid about the whole thing? any advise on this matter wud b very helpful, thanks for your time, .....Xx tears girl xX
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 October 2006):
 You are only 14, put sex on hold, and see if you can get some counseling so you can rid yourself of the memories that haunt you. If Rob is worth his salt he will wait for you while you deal with the past. Talk to the school counselor.
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