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male
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*teve34
writes: Dear cupidI have just split from a long distance relationship of 3 years now. My girl friend is 6 years older than me with a 6 year old son. I have no children and am not sure if i want any myself but she is coming up to an age where it would be difficult to so I have to be sure! Our relationship has been very on and off mainly due to me. It has been also very passionate!! Due to her not wanting to take her son away from his new school and friends or his father it was me that would have had to make the commitment and move my job and home closer to her which i was prepaired to do but then we had a blazzing row and now am not sure. I do love her but am scared things will fail. Do you think I should try again??
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006): I think you have already made up our mind. I don't think your heart is in it or you wouldn't be asking us! She doesn't have to stay too close to the child's dad, he could arrange visits. What was the arguement over? Surely you see beyond this and decide carefully just what you want to do.
But, how about a fresh start. You moving to her area, you can give it a go. Do you rent a house, then if it goes bad then you can always rent another. Sit down and think just what you want. If the arguement was so bad then you may have to move on, not your home, but to someone else. Take care xx
A
female
reader, lovestough +, writes (14 November 2006):
you sound like you are not sure you want this relationship. maybe because you were willing to change your entire life and she wasnt making any changes. long distance relationships are tricky, you are scared to change your life to be with her and find out it wasnt worth it. you have to tell her how you feel. she is asking a lot from you when she is doing nothing. maybe you could both move halfway and meet in the middle that would be fair. only you know if you are ready for children, dont feel pressured into agreeing to have any, having a baby is a big responsibility and needs a lot of thought before having any. if your relationship is not good at the moment then having a child would be a mistake. just talk to her and explain how you feel.
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A
female
reader, nobody +, writes (14 November 2006):
If I were you, I would give it a go. If it doesnt work out, what have you lost?? You can always go home. Im also in a long distance relationship and this is the approach Im taking. Our relationship is by no means perfect but I love him - so Id be stupid not to give it a go. I think if its just one row you had, you'd be crazy to throw everything away.
Good luck mate.
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