A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:You guys recently rejected a question because it was a duplicate of one already accepted. I, however, didn't know it was wrong. I posed as the person who needed the advice when it was really my friend's story. She told me a week ago that she's feeling pressured to let him f*** and he keeps making all these plans for them to do it but each time she makes up an excuse and it really upsets him. She said that she feels like the only one going through this so I posted another question and planned on showing her that she wasn't alone (and give her the feedback from those who answered that question) I didn't know it was wrong, but now I need help. I overheard her saying that she's gonna let him f*** Wed. before he goes to football practice and I know for a fact that she's not ready and she's just giving in to his pressure. I'm friends with the guy and I know he'll wait if she asks him to but she can't get up the courage. I tried telling hm myself but he doesn't believe me. He told me "if she really doesn't wanna f***, she would've said that, and unless she does, I plan on having a very good day Fri." I even told him that she can't really take intense pain (which she says is one reason why she's scared) and he said "well, you know how I do". I'm already 15 and I regret losing my virginity and I want my girl to be 100% ready and I don't want her to give in. True- she really wants him to be her 1st and doesn't wanna lose him but she's only gonna let him f*** Wed. because she figures she has no other choice. Am I wrong for trying so hard to change her mind, or should I let her do whatever? How do I tell her to wait and show her that its not worth it, and, most importantly, that he'll wait for her??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Its me (and yes, its really me this time) thanks to emily for the advice but before others answer, can I just say that i don't want to immediately come off harsh to my friend. you see, countless numbers of boys have broken up with her saying she's a tease because of the body she has and she won't let them f***, and this time she really likes this guy and I can see that she doesn't feel the same about him and i think that's why she's feeling like its her only choice. is there an easier way to get through to her and if so, what is it? (Here's the link to her question, so you guys can give her your advice yourselves! :) http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-be-his-first-but-im.html
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (20 October 2008):
You have to at some point be cruel to be kind.
Tell her that you have done as much as you can for her, and if she is too weak to say "I'm not ready" to her boyfriend then she's going to regret it.
Tell her you think she's a pathetic idiot and to call you afterwards when she feels dirty and used and needs you to come running to pick up the pieces.
You can also point out how un sexy it's going to look when she starts crying like a rape victim half way through him having sex with her.
Good Luck!! xx
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