A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:ive known this guy for 7 months and weve become close friends in that time. i really like him but notice sometimes he says things which dont add up for example he owns 3 houses, has 60 k in savings and want to buy a 350 k house in london.hes had a rough time and his wife left last year. ive probably done too much but i have suppported him constantly-got him presents to cheer him up and got him through his work assessments etc.when we have breaks he doesnt ever intiate buying me a coffee etc so to avoid the embarrassment i pay always so last night we were talking about stuff and i stupidly asked him in a joke way what he would think of me as a girlfriend and he replied that i would suffocate him. i was mortified and fled quickly saying bye not our usual goodbye.so now today he calls and wants to see how im feeling wtf ?am i just a loser-all ive tried to do is help him and ive ended up with egg on my face Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (1 April 2010):
You Ms have not ended up with egg anywhere?You are loyal, honest and have quality and devotion that has known few limits.Close to you is a man that will tick all your boxes?Look around around you tomorrow and start your life!!!!!
A
male
reader, beargrylls +, writes (31 March 2010):
 hi
sounds like he is just using you, has he got where he is today by being tight with cash. i got no money at the moment(currently being robbed by ex) but its no excuse not to buy your gir a coffee and flowers every week which is what i used to do. good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 I think I would step back from this relationship. And stop paying for his coffee you aren't his mum!
As for what he said. Well, maybe he was being honest. Brutally honest, mind you. Don't forget you saw him though things when he was rather pathetic and needy, and I think you can pretty much expect him to resent that. Resent that he needed help and that *gasp* (being sarcastic btw) a women pulled him though. You would be a constant reminder of what he may think of as being a "failure".
Maybe you need to stop thinking of him as dating material? He doesn't see you that way at all.
PS. You deserve a man who is all about YOU. He.. is all about HIM.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 March 2010):
 I don't think you have egg on your face so stop giving yourself such a hard time. I think you have been his social worker through his personal problems and he doesn't seem to put into the friendship anything like what he takes from it. I also sense from your post that you hope for more than friendship with him. I maybe wrong, but if that is what you are thinking then I would say stay away from him. He is involved in a troubled marriage and you don't want to be the 'other woman'. He brags about his money situation but he maybe telling lies about this to impress you or make his life seem more interesting and important than it is. I would say stop trying to help him as he is a bit of a leech. He takes what he wants like coffee, a ear for his problems etc and gives little in return. Having said that, people treat you how you let them treat you. We have all made poor judgements about people at some time in our lives and ended up disappointed. The secret of long term happiness is to learn from mistakes and avoid repeating them. Not everyone will think of you as a suffocating girlfriend and why does his opinion matter anyway...it is just what he thinks, just one person who happens to be married to someone else and therefore unavailable.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (31 March 2010):
 all youve ever done was try to help him, hmmm
women typically try to do that, help a guy they care about, and its a good thing , unfortunately most men dont want another mother, they want a hot sexy chick, not some one they have told all there problems too and some one who picks them up when there down not some one who knows how mutch of a screw up they really are etc. thats not what they want for a gf any way.
he probably didnt mean to say what he said but he probably meant it. Honestly if you really care about this guy and you realy like him i would suggest not taking it so personal and if it bothers you so mutch make him explain what he means buy it.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (31 March 2010):
all youve ever done was try to help him, hmmm
women typically try to do that, help a guy they care about, and its a good thing , unfortunately most men dont want another mother, they want a hot sexy chick, not some one they have told all there problems too and some one who picks them up when there down not some one who knows how mutch of a screw up they really are etc. thats not what they want for a gf any way.
he probably didnt mean to say what he said but he probably meant it. Honestly if you really care about this guy and you realy like him i would suggest not taking it so personal and if it bothers you so mutch make him explain what he means buy it.
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