A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: For the past year and a half i have been texting this guy who is 27 years old. I am 17. the situation is a little messed up because I texted him to ask him some questions about his friend who i liked but then me and this 27 year old guy started talking everyday. i pretended to be a 22 year old girl and that i lived in a different state. me and this 27 year old texted constantly everyday. we basically told each other everything and couldn't wait to meet each other. honestly we live about ten minutes away from each other. we never did talk on the phone though. we sent each other pictures but the picture i sent him were fake and not really me. Everyday that I talked to him i just wanted to come out and tell him who i really was hopeing that he would still like me and talk to me but i never told him who i really was because i didnt want to stop talking. Last month, he stopped texting me out of no where the last ext i got from him was "hey baby". i responded and that was the last text i ever recieved from him. i dont know what happened. there is no way he could have found out that it was really me. i keep thinking his texting got shut off. i called his phone restricted and it went to his voicemail so i know he still has his phone turned on. i have no idea what is going on. i text him everyday asking him to text me back. today i told him that we needed to meet up in person to talk. i really feel like now i owe it to him to let him know it was me no matter if he hates me or not. he wont text me back and i always see him sitting outside his house when i get out of work on the way home. i just want to tell him but dont know how to approach him and i want to know why he left me hanging like that. please help. i know its a messy situation and i feel terrible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Well, if he's cut all contact, and showing no further signs of interest, i don't really see what good revealing your true identity will do. I don't think it matters who you are, what you look like, or that your seventeen, the fact is he was contacting a girl (you) and for whatever reason, he's now stopped. I guess though, if you live close to him, you could still talk to him and try to establish a bond, but don't reveal who you are/were (the girl on the phone), and see if things could take off that way. Atb!
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (6 September 2009):
Here's a suggestion to you. If you want to have a strong, loving, emotionally secure relationship. Don't do it in cyberspace.
The only way people can co-exist emotionally and find the right person for them is to be there in person.
Electronic communications are not the end-all, be-all of this planet. Up until the last decade or so, people usually had personal communications, and they dated in real life not over the internet.
Think of it this way. Your little text box is a way to send a signal to someone that you care about, and that you actually KNOW, in person, in real life.
Texting characters to another text box is so impersonal it takes away all the joy of a real relationship.
Finally, don't lie to people. The person who's really being hurt is YOU. If you want a good, solid relationship, it has to be based on trust, and if your lying every step of the way, you're abusing someone else's trust. And that's not right. You know better than that.
When you're honest and trustworthy, sincere and open in your communications and in your gestures, you have true credibility and the other person whom you are connecting with can trust you. That's very valuable in any relationship whether its your love life, or just friendship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): I think since this relationship is based on texting, and since he is 27 and youre 17, he might not have taken it as seriously as you have. Not to be condencending, but at 27 theres a lot more real things in life than texting a girl for a year. If it was an online relationship I would give you more credit, but texting and not even talking on the phone? It seems pretty half assed. He probably just wanted a booty call, and you being in another state made it seem more mysterious and fun. He probably found someone else to hang out with, and didn't want to man up and tell you.It would be very big of you to come out and tell him the truth, and I think you should.
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A
female
reader, angel sweeney +, writes (6 September 2009):
okay,gurl it was a very wrong thing to do to lie but you can almost fix everything you damage.but what you need to do is stop by his house and when he gets outside you say we need to talk well obviously he wont know who you are but he will talk to you tell him who you and why you lied about your identity....tell him at first you just wanted to kno info on his friend,but you have grown feeling for him and enjoy his company.then you pop the question why havent you texted me or called me ive been wondering...well goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): Us guys get flattered when we receive the attentions of a younger girl. But when we find they have deceived us, it makes us realise why we stick with real women - not immature little girls.Time to grow up. Lesson learned?
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