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anonymous
writes: My ex left me with 2 kids last year, but he is now coming to see us daily, and he phones me daily. Why do you think he'd so this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2005): I am in exactly the same position. My ex has been in daily contact every day since he left. He is in new relationship but just recently he has been coming to stay overnight with us, and having dinner with us. Maybe men just don't realise what they had until it's gone. I know it's hard especially if you still have feelings for him, but you have to live for yourself and your kids and if you're meant to be together, then you will be.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 March 2005):
 It sounds a bit like he misses you and the kids. Maybe he's been away for a while and realised what else the world had to offer, and how good he had it with you.My suggestion would be to ask him outright: "You left us two years ago, but now you're calling and visiting every day. What's changed?"He may say that he wants to come back. (There may be other reasons, but I think this is the likely answer.) That could be a good thing if you want him back, but if in the intervening years, neither of you has done anything to solve the problems that led to him leaving in the first place, you could be in for more trouble than you want or need.If your husband is trying to get back together, I'd be wanting to think carefully about what drove him off in the first place (Arguments? Debt? Someone else in his life? Boredom?) and address those problems as a top priority. Ask him if he'll go to couples' counselling with you before you allow him to move back in, otherwise you'll be back to exactly the way it was when he left. I can guarantee it.You should also decide if you've moved on with your life in the interim. Maybe you're seeing someone else who won't disappear into the sunset as soon as things get tough. Maybe you've discovered that you're happy being on your own. Your kids should have plenty of time to get to know and love their dad, but that doesn't mean you have to take him back, wholesale, if you don't want to.Think about the long-term and what you want for yourself and your kids, and you should go OK.
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