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male
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anonymous
writes: Well its been a while since i've posted in here, time has gone by and i have been trying to forget about my past memories with my ex but sometimes these feelings and memories just makes me miss those times that i have spent with her so much that i really really really wish i could relive those times.Me and my ex have been dating for almost a year. We moved in together after 4 months and ever since then we've been inseperatable. However, in just one night when she went out with other people and came home she told me she has no more feelings for me and that was the end of our relationship. Not long after she left me i found out that the very same night she left me was her ex's birthday and she had pictures of him and her in her email on that day. I figured then that, she still had feelings for this guy. Even though he cheated on her, abused her and treated her like shit when they were together. I guess i was just a rebound guy during time i spend with her, and the thought of that just deverstates me.I love her with all my heart, always thinking about her before me. I tried to remain friends with her, but she does not want to have anything to do with me. I'm not even sure why i am posting this, i guess i just want someone, anyone to know how i feel right now...I've been trying to forget about all this, going to the gym, going out with friends etc...But there hasent been a day where i have not thought about her. I still love her, i still care about her and i still want to be with her again even though i know that things will notbe the same anymore...I just really really miss the times we spend together and would do anything at all to relive those times...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Time heals all wounds. What you need my dear, sweet man is to have some time to heal. It is very sad that you were hurt by someone you loved so much. But there is simply nothing else you can do. You said she does not want anything to do with you so, continue on the path of going out with your friends, going to the gym, take a class, or mess around with an old hobby if you want to. And also, get out there and date a few gals. You're heart may not be into it a first, but it may help to have a female companion to go out and do things with. Just promise me that you won't make every date a thorough discussion about your ex. Tell her once that you're getting over a painful experience and then don't go into any more details unless she asks. And then, only tell her the basics. Part of moving on, is not wallowing in the "what-if's" or the "I wish"....Eventually you will look back on this chapter and realize how much you've grown, and learned from the experience. And you will find love again. Good luck!
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 I understand it's difficult. You've become the innocent victim in your relationship, just like you think she was in her relationship with her ex. It's a terrible terrible thing when someone you love finishes with you but unfortunately, as was quoted in one of my favourite books, the person who wants out of the relationship always gets their own way. It might seem unfair and God knows it hurts like hell but you'll be okay. You'll meet someone in time who you love as much as they love you and then somehow, even feeling this bad will have been worth it. Hope this helps.
CD
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 When a person you love breaks your heart it takes time to get over. At first you think about them every second of the day, and then it's every minute, and then every hour. Pretty soon you are skipping hours of time in between thinking about them, and then it turns in to days, weeks and months. This is all part of the greiving process and completely normal.
When you are in the midst of this you often feel like you are the only one that has ever been hurt this badly. You are not, and there are millions of people out there that have survived the exact same pain you are going through right now. You will survive too.
Stay busy, MAKE yourself do things even when you don't feel like it, talk to your friends about how you feel, understand that you had no control over her leaving, and it was entirely her decision. You do, however, have control over how you respond now, and how you recover.
My advice is, hold your head high, continue on, try not to dwell on this, and when you are feeling better and more self-confident, find someone who is worthy of you, and can share the same feeling that you have for her with you. She was not "the ONE" for you, simply because she chose to leave. You are entitled to a relationship that is mutual, not a one sided one. You will find it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I totally feel your pain. My boyfriend and I had the best relationship and then after 9-10 mths, he just said that he was confused and didn't see spending the rest of his life with me. It has been a couple of months, but it still hurts like hell and I still miss him. The problem for me, is that he has the same friends and I have to see him. But, even so, time is the only healer! Just keep doing what you are doing, and I promise you will be okay. You deserve someone who loves you, too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): I know this will sound very harsh but you have to try and put her out of your mind. What she did was very hurtful and nasty. He obviously hadn't been good to her and yet she still kept him close to her heart. Well, let her get on with it, she will realise that she has made a mistake in the future and probably wish she was back with you. Just be strong and keep going out with your friends and try hard and put her to the back of your mind. It takes time but it will come and you will be strong again. You will meet someone who will be 100% for you and with you. You may not feel it now but you will be happy one day. Do take care and I wish you well.
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