A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear everyone,Okay so I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin but that's not exactly the issue. I've had one serious boyfriend in my life and the reason we didn't have sex is because he had testicular cancer during our relationship. (He's since recovered but we broke up) Since then I've had several very short relationships in which case everything is fine for a few weeks and then suddenly, out of nowhere, the guy just loses interest. I don't think I come on too strong or don't appear interested enough. As far as I can see everything is fine and then suddenly he stops getting in touch. The thing is, I'm starting to feel like I can't do the relationship thing. If I knew that I'd get to be happy in the end then I wouldn't mind getting disappointed over and over but I've been alone for almost four years now and it's starting to wear me down. I almost can't be bothered to put myself out there anymore and I comfort eat so I'm getting bigger and making it so that guys don't even look at me anymore. I just want to be happy but this is making me more and more depressed. Any help greatly appreciated. Thanks loads xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLilly thanks, I think you're right though I don't like to admit to myself that you could be. I'm going to see my doctor in two weeks anyway about my birth control so I might bring up what you said then. Thanks loads for the help.
A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 It's hard to love someone when they don't love themsleves. And although you don't say this I imagine that this may be part of the problem. You feel worn down, are over eating, and can't be bothered. Those are all symptoms of depression. Maybe seeing a counselor to talk about how you are feeling or seeing your physician for screening for depression would be in order. To be a sucessful partner you have to be happy within yourself and you can't expect a relationship to create that feeling for you. It is something you must do on your own.
Once you do that, and meet the right person, I believe everything will be fine.
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