A
male
age
51-59,
*onym
writes: I arrange to go out with a woman who i know from our karate club, she helps out. We meet then several times during the night she says men are staring at her, i naturally look but cant see, i think no more of it. She seems interested in me we hav been texting constantly for about two weeks. During the night she shows me her phone and it displays that she has five text unopened and two missed calls from my karate instructor (she helps out at the club) i say are you not going to see what he wants she shrugs her shoulders gives half a smile and puts her phone away. I say im confused why would her txt and ring so much at night ? Then the penny drops.. I say is something going on between you to, she just looks at me, i say well whats the content of the text, she wont show me.I step away and say ok well thats me out. She goes quiet and shortly leaves, i ask one of my friends who was nearby to escort her to a taxi. Later i text her and say please dont play your games with me. She responds sorry - bye then hav you fallen out with me? I dont reply. Can anyone explain the purpose/intention of this behaviour and did i deal with it right? How do i behave with her now??
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): I reckon she's simply trying to make you jealous by letting you know that other men find her desirable too. It's a pretty juvenile thing to do, to be honest. And I would've dealt with it like you did, because she *is* playing games. Can you really afford to waste your time with all that?
I'd keep things between you platonic for now. Be courteous, but don't pursue her. If she ever had any serious intentions towards you, she'll make the first move. Perhaps I sound rather scathing about her behaviour, but really, I can't bear that sort of petty nonsense! Life's just too short for it. Good luck and take care :)
A
male
reader, AllTimeHoe +, writes (19 December 2011):
Personally, I think this woman is interested in you my friend. Women do have an uncanny habit of trying to wrap men around their fingers, it's their nature. I reckon she is also trying to see if you are a viable individual for her to be dating. If you see these texts and calls and she actively shows you them, it is her way of telling you she has more interest from others. You are first, but you need to make the move. Start with a nice gesture, ask her out for coffee, lunch or dinner. See if she accepts. If not she may be trying to play hard to get. And if you really want her, then play. If she isn't worth the pain with no gain, leave now.
I think you did react a typical way in which us males would. We don't want to think our individual of interest could start with someone else. I think you start talking again. You can tell her that you have been thinking too much about certain things. And tell her that you would like the chance to build a stronger friendship and a growing relationship if she is interested, this is where you ask her out for coffee.
I hope this helps you my friend, I too know how it feels to be in a similar situation. God's speed.
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