I was hurt by 2 guys I was dating. Was it because I think everyone is good?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

The key issue behind asking this question is to reduce my own vulnerability in not understanding the real intentions of young college going guys.I am a very sensitive and innocent girl. At times, it's very hard for me to understand the real intentions of people as they pretend to be really nice people. In December I met 2 people who were in same college in a different city but they belonged to my hometown. I met them during my one 21 day internship in the trial court. They became my friends and I used to hang out with them.They were three- four guys and all were law students. One of the above mentioned ended up making out with me without asking for my will and I could not deny it.He was fondling my body and was kissing me. I felt so helpless, vulnerable, guilty and pathetic as I did not like the way he behaved. I was extremely devastated after this horrible experience. It made me feel so bad about my own self.It was a harassing experience. I wished I could die at that point of time because I was feeling horribly guilty and pathetic. I wished I would have never met him. But I was in touch with the other person and he told me that he likes me. He seemed a nice person to me. After our internship, he went back to his college and we were in touch on internet and phone. I also told him that I liked him because he always behaved nice in front of me. He asked me out and I said yes to him. But, he was all into knowing about my privacy and my body. I made it very clear that don't expect mere sex from me.It was also too early to think about only physical relations. He got angry and he said I am not attractive enough for him and he had never taken me seriously. He just asked me out merely for the sake of doing it and he is already into someone else. He called me a despo and many bad things. He called me needy. It added to my above mentioned horrible experience. Since past two months my entire life has been turned into turmoil and my studies have been affected very badly. I don't what to do as my vulnerability is the only thing which put me into all these troubles mental trauma. I wish to do well in my studies. But I am unable to concentrate on studies as I feel I can easily be used and manipulated by the opposite sex. Both guys were selfish enough to think about their own pleasure and good; but I, as a human being, felt so stupid and idiotic to trust and care for these people who did not even prove to be good friends or even friends. I don't know why I faced such a horrible experience. Only thing I can think of is my vulnerability towards such issues which creates trouble. Please help me if any one can understand my situation over here. I am just hopeless in understanding what makes me vulnerable. Is it my innocence or foolishness? Or is it care which I show towards every human being thinking that every one's good? Please Help me. I need it.

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