A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who I have been pursuing for over a decade. Every year we get to a stage where we get really close and intimate but i just wait knowing that she will soon distance me. I have learned to accept that this will happen and come to realisation that I can only ever have these short fun times with her and that she is such a free spirit that she doesn't want to belong to anyone. This year however, we felt closer than ever and thought as she was get older and wiser that maybe a proper relationship was possible. She began to fall on hard times, couldn't find work, car blew up, behind on her rent and was due to be evicted. I suggested she go back to the house rental agent and ask how much it would cost for her to keep her lease. She told me and i paid it for her saving her from eviction. We had organised to meet up soon after, it was also my birthday week. Instead of being grateful and wanting to see me for my birthday, she came up with excuses of why she couldn't see me. She has since put more distance between us. We used to talk or text 3-4 times a day. Now I might hear from her once a week. I was expecting gratitude and thanks for saving her from eviction, instead I am almost being punished. its a horrible feeling. I dont want her to have feeling that she 'owes' me, as it w as my choice to help her, but some good manners would be nice.What could be going on in her head?
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male
reader, MrWombat +, writes (21 May 2012):
 Oh! Ok, that's different, then. But she's still stringing you along, it's mainly a matter of degree.Try to get more than one string to your bow. She won't respect you while you depend solely on her for sex/companionship. Giving them free money is almost always a mistake, so I hear. Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHarsh! I never said there was no sex involved. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to her. I haven't wasted 10 years because the times we have been together are amazing. But thank you for your honesty
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A
male
reader, MrWombat +, writes (20 May 2012):
Mate, you have a bad, bad case of White Knight-itis.This woman does not love you, never did love you, will never love you. The reason she is pushing you away is precisely that you have gotten a little close for comfort. A woman decides within a few seconds of meeting a man whether or not she wishes to have sex with him. And her judgment almost never changes. This woman will never, never go to bed with you. Ever. "I dont want her to have feeling that she 'owes' me"But isn't that exactly how it is? That's the thing about white knights: a broad streak of dishonesty. It is this dishonesty (which she is perfectly aware of) that justifies her treatment of you. All she is doing is "playing" someone who is badly attempting to "play" her. Whats sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.You have wasted your life, wasted your time and money on this person. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.Google "MGTOW".
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (20 May 2012):
 You have been there for 10 years in the role of back up friend, somebody who accepts whatever crumbs she deigns to drop, you have WASTED 10 years of your life on what? What has your patience over the past 10 years brought to you?
This woman is a user, and abuser. Why should she show gratitude, it was your choice to help her, the past ten years seem to have taught you nothing. Did you really think you could pay your way into her affections and undying love?
Grow some and move on, time to stop being a boring bloody door mat and find a new hobby, this one is way old hat!
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